Can't promise you the world, but... (A Rohit-Shreyas Fanfiction)

Chapter 19

"You thought what?" demanded Rohit.

Shreyas stayed silent.

"Yas?"

"You're not the first one I've driven away by my awful temper...I fail to keep people I love...I thought..." Shreyas rubbed his eyes vigorously, possibly to wake himself up properly, because then he said, "Please go, Rohit bhaiya."

Rohit had no idea what to make of the sudden change of tack.

"If you actually want me to go, I'll go, of course, Yas," he said uncertainly. "But I'm hoping you don't mean that."

Shreyas had almost said, "I mean it," but he choked up and extended his arms to pull Rohit close so he could bury his head in Rohit's chest and dissolve into tears.

"Please don't go anywhere, Rohit bhaiya."

Like I wanted to, thought Rohit, relieved, so so relieved.

Shreyas held on to him and sobbed.

Rohit held him back, and tried to soothe him by rubbing his back, but for once, he couldn't try to soothe him with words, because he didn't know what to say. For the first time, he felt scared of Shreyas--Shreyas had so many things inside his head right then, and maybe Rohit's confidence from so down from yesterday night, that he was scared to say anything that might hurt or infuriate Shreyas again.

So he remained silent and simply held Shreyas till the boy finally lifted his head, his face muddled with tears, and looked around the room, took in the state his tornado had rendered it into. Rohit almost thought he looked vaguely ashamed.

"Don't you think I learnt nothing of temperament as you said DC's captaincy would teach me, Rohit bhaiya?" he asked.

"Don't you think I learnt nothing of being there for a team as I would have said captaincy would teach anyone, Yas?" Rohit contemplated. "Let's take it very wise and simple--captaincy taught us to flip a coin, just flip a coin." He smiled, which immediately turned into a sigh.

After a moment, Shreyas said with tears in his voice, "I didn't...didn't mean that, Rohit bhaiya."

"I know," said Rohit.

"No, you don't. If you knew, you wouldn't have felt like this that you couldn't be there for your team...!" 

"Shreyas, it's not because of you."

"IT IS BECAUSE OF ME." Shreyas took in a shaky breath and lowered his voice. "Look at how pathetic I am--in the first place I hurt you--I hurt you so much that you started thinking this way, and now I am mad that you didn't get that I didn't mean it. Why are you with me, Rohit bhaiya?"

"C'mon, Yas--"

Shreyas extricated himself from Rohit's embrace and got down from the bed, knelt where his cricket equipment were thrown around, and started putting them back inside the kitbag.

"I'll go to the NCA," he said. "And I'll keep updating you, too. I'll try to get fit before the Australia series and make you proud in the World Cup...You go and complete your sleep, you look tired..."

"What are you trying to do now, Shreyas?" asked Rohit.

Shreyas didn't look at him and focused on cleaning his room, which seemed more like messing it up still further to Rohit. Well, who was he to speak?

After a long stretch of silence, Rohit got impatient.

"You do realize, Shreyas, don't you, that it's a bond between two people...you and me both, right? When you get angry, you say something...when you get sad, you blurt out something...now you're again up to something and you're behaving like a school kid wanting to be in their teacher's good books. And along it all, I'm oblivious about everything in every scenario and I'm just left to react or respond."