Destined to a Gangster - Reimagined

1. Pallavi

Drops of water fell on her face as she raised her face towards the thundering skies.  Each drop made a different path down her face. She touched her cheek and wiped off the droplets. It was a foolish move since it was raining uncontrollably. Yet she stood there intermittently wiping her cheeks - thinking.

This was not like her. Pallavi Deshmukh never did stuff like this. She never did anything without thinking it through. Her words, her clothes, her hairstyle, even her shoes were carefully selected after many internal discussions. Everything about her life was based on what others would say. She was the passenger in her own life. While the different drivers took control of her life.

So was so used to listening to what others said that she had completely forgotten to think about her wants and likes. Even tonight she came up to her room as she was told. Aayi had told her to do some make up and change her saree. Immediately she came up and sat down in front of the mirror.

It was then - as she held the makeup brush to her cheek - her gaze fell on the photo on the wall. She wasn't in the picture. It was a family picture of the man whose room she was sitting in. in that instant the room didn't feel like her. Even though she slept in this room every night for the last two years. It felt like she was trespassing on someone else's room.

The young man smiling in the picture. This room belonged to him. The Aayi and Baba in the picture where his - not hers. All the relationships in the house were his. She was connected to family - because she was connected to him.

He was gone and the family became hers.  but now he was back will the family still be hers. What if he didn't want her? They would pick him. He was their own. She closed her eyes. What was wrong with her? She should be happy, just like everyone in the family. It was a miracle that he returned back to them. She should be happy that her aayi was happy. Her son was back - she was making his favorite foods, while looking out of the window. Eyes eager for his return back home.

She opened her eyes and gazed at her reflection. She remembered the night, just a little over two years ago. That night she had gazed at herself in appreciation. Dressed in a red saree and all her jewelry, she was giddy in anticipation of his arrival.

The difference between the two nights was drastic. The red of the saree had turned a dull gray. The armful of chudiya had disappeared. So did the mangalsutra and sindoor. Pallavi had  vanished.

She blinked repeatedly to remove that night from her thoughts. She applied the blush to her cheeks and looked again at the mirror. This time she  didn't know what happened. One moment she was sitting in front of her mirror trying to do her makeup. The next  moment she got up from her stool. Wanting to get out of the room. The room had felt inexplicably hot. The next second she was up on the roof standing in the rain.

She stood there in the darkness as the cold rain seeped into her bones. Instead of running away she embraced the coldness. It   Cold darkness has been her partner for a long time now. Wouldn't it be poetic for her to embrace it on last night.

Aayi had told her downstairs that her life will be filled with color and happiness now. So this embrace would be like a goodbye to her long term friend. As she raised her arms out she heard Aayi's voice ring out.

"Amrutaaaaaa!"

She quickly dropped her hands and ran back. She couldn't disappoint Aayi tonight. Aayi wanted her to wear the red saree again. She would do exactly as she was told. Afterall, Pallavi Deshmukh - is the daughter in law of this house.