Luckily I've got my Ace Gang to fill in the long hours before we get released.
- Christmas tree. - D.J. Ellen, Rosey, jas and moi.
Now, when your hands are numb you lift them up to your bazoomas and press. See? It feels like someone else is touching them, not your own hands, right?
- Wow. Freakilicious.
- Oh, I could get used to this.
I don't think we should be doing this. It's kind of lesbiany.
Well, you asked me what it was like to be felt up.
So, what's the best thing about having a boyfriend then? It just feels really natural. You know, really grown up. And the snogging is wicked. Dave uses varying pressure. "Rosie replied"
My parents snog occasionally. Even at their age. Cringey. Seeing old people over the age of snogging is just horrific.
Of all of the boys I've ever snogged, dave is definitely the best. 'Cause he's emotional.
Where have you got to on the snogging scale?
What?
Jas and I invented a snogging scale.
The Ten Stages of Snogging.
- You're mad. -
No. It's scientific. -
How would you know anything about it?
- Please. - Who got 82% in Bio?
- True.
We cut out all the letters about kissing from the problem pages of every girls' magazine. So, it starts with level one, holding hands.
Two, arms around waist.
Three, good night kiss.
Four, kiss lasting over three minutes without breath. -
Five, open mouth kissing. -
Number six, tongues.
Oh, my God. Seven, upper body fondling outdoors.
Eight... Oh, my God. I've gone all jelloid. - Who are those fitties? -
They're well beyond fit, they're lush. They are sex gods.
- They must be newbies. -
Ace Gang, it's boy-stalking time.
Ladies? -
They have mushy peas and chips.
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah, definitely. I want them!
