Silent Agony (ON GOING)

Prologue

2023

It's Sunday. Full pack ulit ang cafe. Pag weekends kasi, talagang puno ang cafe at nakakapag benta kami ng thousands of cookies. In store and online na yun.

It's really good to see parents with their kids going to our cafe kasi meron kami dito edutainment room. Glass wall ito, so parents can still bring their kids while they're relaxing at the same time. Soundproof din ang room kaya hindi rinig ang ingay ng pag sasaya ng mga bata sa room. May mga staff din kami sa loob to make sure kids are safe

Sobrang thankful din talaga ako na maraming bumabalik samin because of our Yummy foods like spaghetti meatballs, sandwiches, waffles, donuts, pastries, refreshing and hot drinks. Plus! Desserts na gustong gusto ng kids!

Malaki din talaga kasi ang naging factor ng paglakas ng cafe namin nung nag boom ang book ko na na publish ko lang 3 months ago. I didn't expect na ma re recognize agad ang book ko. But, I'm glad it did. At isa yun sa ni lu look forward ko everyday. When some people are looking for me and asking for a picture pag pupunta sila dito sa cafe. Sobrang saya ko! Natutuwa ako na na appreciate nila ang stories and words ko tapos nakaka pag kweuntuhan pa ako sa mga customers na para ko lang silang close friends na dinayo ako dahil yung iba ang lalayo pa ng mga pinanggalingan. It was just a dream before that now I'm finally experiencing in reality

"Ma'am Ciela, may naghahanap po sainyo sa labas. May dala din po siyang book niyo." 

"Okay. Pasabi wait lang" binaba ko muna ang hawak ko at tinaggal ang apron ko. Nandito ako sa kitchen ngayon at tumutulong sa pag pe prep ng sandwiches. Tumingin ako saglit sa salamin para i check kung ayos lang ang buhok ko, pagtapos ay dali dali na din akong lumabas

Naglakad ako palapit sa pintuan. And there, I saw a familiar stand, a familiar back.  10 am palang kaya naman pasok pa ang sinag ng araw dito sa may counter area. Pero biglang nanlamig ang pakiramdam ko. There were 4 men in front of him, habang siya nakatalikod sakin, kausap yung mga kasama niyang lalaki. That scent. It's so familiar, it's like brings back so much memories. I know that very well. I can't believe na naaamoy ko siya as of now. It's been so long since I smelled that. 

4 men were familiar to me. Nakita na nila ako so they wave and smile at me. Tinuturo nila akosa kasama nilang lalaki na nakatalikod. Wearing a black shirt and pants with a pair of black rubber shoes

Alam ko naman na kung sino iyon. But there's still a part of me hoping it's not him. It's not because I'm not yet ready to see him again. It's just that, I don't want to see him anymore. That's it. 

Wala naman akong kakayahan na i pause muna ang scene na to. Unti unti akong lumalapit sa kanila kahit ayaw ko naman. At, unti unti naman siyang lumilingon paharap sakin

Nice background song chosen by our barista, Susan. Bugambilya by Belle Mariano. Nasakto pa talaga ha

And even before the bridge part of the song starts. He's here. Already facing me. 8 years. It's been 8 years since I last saw him. The way the sunrays direct to his eyes. His long eyelashes and brown eyes dominated in his face. And he's here, looking at  me while awkwardly smiling

Sa totoo lang, ayaw ko na makita siya ulit. Dahil baka kako mag trigger ang masasakit na alaala ko sa kanya noon. Tapos ngayon nandito siya sa harapan ko.  Ewan ko, natatawa nalang ako pero hindi pa din ako makapaniwala na nasa harapan ko siya ngayon. Parang naulit lang yung scenario kung paano niya naagaw ang atensyon ko 8 years ako. Gantong ganto yun eh. Pinatawag niya din ako habang hinihintay namin ang mentor namin sa Theater Arts Club nung High School. Ang pinagkaiba lang, ay yung nararamdaman ko para sa kanya noon at ngayon 

"Hi..." I heard it. His voice. His scent. His presence. I am seeing and smelling it again. The person that I used to love. The person who was before my person that hurt me so much. 

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Hi! May AN pa ba? Tagal ko na kasi hindi nakapag sulat at post dito. Hehe! Hmmm, basta ayun. Hello man kung nabasa mo to. Sana nagustuhan mo hehe ulit. Babu!