GOOD GIRL. (NSFW) - Taylor Swift

insecure / mirrors

cw: insecurity, body dysmorphia, strap-ons, praise kink

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"baby, how much longer?" taylor whined from the bed while you stared at yourself in the mirror of the ensuite bathroom.

you hadn't seen her in weeks, with both of you too busy to fly out in-between her shows and see each other. now that she was on break for a couple months, though, you could spend as much time as you wanted together. she was right, then; it was a little unfair that you were taking so long to get ready. but... you got caught up in your own reflection. something you hadn't done in so long because taylor just made you feel so loved.

being away from her, you couldn't help but feel like you gained a little weight. you could see it on your stomach and your face. your makeup wasn't cooperating, your hair was still a mess despite your efforts. with one final look in the mirror, you broke down, leaning onto the bathroom counter and covering your face with your hands.

"baby?" taylor called again, her mouth right next to the door now. she could hear you sniffling and her heart broke, frowning as she opened the door and saw you crying. you were just in your underwear, and she could see faint little pink marks on your skin where you had pinched your stomach.

her frown deepened and she took you into her arms. "what's wrong?" she asked, feeling glad that you leaned into her touch instead of shut her down. "what's wrong, my love?" she repeated, pressing kisses to your ear.

"i—" you tried to speak, but nothing but a squeak came out. you shook your head but took your hands off your face, returning the embrace and burying yourself in her chest. she cooed softly, words of encouragement and praise that went in through one ear and out the other.

"i don't wanna go," you managed to croak out. if she was disappointed, she didn't show it. even though it was a night out with your combined friend groups that had been in the works for ages, she just nodded and tightened her hold on you.

"of course," she said, her voice dripping with love and acceptance rather than any judgment. she kissed the top of your head and ran her hands over your skin, settling her thumbs into the little dimples on your lower back. it was a normal touch from her, but this time, it burned a fiery pit in your belly and you squirmed away from her embrace. you gripped the counter, not daring to look at her or the mirror.

"honey?" taylor voiced, confused and hurt. she kept her hands off you, though, and it melted your heart just how much she respected you and how well she could read you. "did i—" her voice broke. she cleared it. "did i do something?"

you met her eyes in the mirror, quickly shaking your head. "no— tay, you didn't. promise."

"okay," she nodded cautiously. she hovered a hesitant hand over your back, not breaking the eye contact. "can i touch you?"

you broke the eye contact and shook your head. if you had been looking at her, you would see how hurt she looked, her wide eyes and trembling lip. "oh," was all she said. "do you want me to go?"

your shoulders tensed at the question. you fully turned your head away from hers. no, you wanted to say, please don't go. but you felt too ashamed. of your own body, of how kind and respectful she was, meanwhile you just canceled the plans she'd been looking forward to just because you couldn't stand the sight of your reflection. you wanted to tell her, because you knew she would make you feel better.

you weren't sure if you would even believe her.

so, you nodded your head and she let out a shaky breath before doing as told and exiting the bathroom. you looked at yourself again and started crying silently in shame.