I Used to Think

I Used to Think

I used to think there was such a thing as wrong and right. I used to think that everything would fall into place if you gave it time. I used to think that he was a part of the past. I used to think that he was my future. I used to think that he would always be there. How is it that I was so wrong?

Blood seems to splatter like rain around me. Every thing I had done in avoidance, yet it had still come to this. I always knew it would, but seeing it was a different thing than the nightmares that plagued my sleep. Of course, I never dreamed that I would have lost my only family in the world.

Nico had done it. He had hinted that he would, but I thought that I had talked him out of it. Apparently, he only ever agreed to pacify me. Now, he was locked in Tartarus, completely at the mercy of the horrors that dwelled there. And I was left to battle the remaining terrors on the outside.

Frank is my rock. Always has been. He has stood beside me when no one else would. But, now, even he has turned his back on me. It was one kiss. For one moment that felt like an eternity, I knew what it was to have them both. But he saw. And, worse, he didn’t just see, he understood. I had gotten a piece of my past back. The only happy piece of the jigsaw that makes up my life. And it was perfection.

Frank always said he would be destroyed by fire. I just don’t think he meant this kind. But that was Leo. Uncontrollable. Bright. Dangerous. Like a flame. You are drawn to him. You want to know what he feels like against your skin. You know that it will hurt, but that is worth it for the warmth you feel inside. But the pain was much greater than I imagined.

We had been talking about that day with Nemesis. The fortune cookie. Annabeth. Percy. Everything. I had never seen him look so broken. This seemed a completely different person from the crazy idiot that used a Wii controller to fly a giant ship. And, if possible, it made me love him more.

Before even I knew what I was doing, I had moved closer to him, my arms around his shoulders. He had leaned in. I did the same. Then, the world distillated down to just the two of us. The feeling of his lips against mine. His fingers slowly untangling a knot in my hair. I wasn’t aware of my surroundings, but I had never felt more alive in my life.

Unfortunately, that unawareness led to Frank seeing. And then the world came crashing back down onto my shoulders. Still, even now, as Thanatos claims lives as his own, I can see him. Amidst the blood and the death, he stands out like a beacon to a ship in the middle of a storm.  And I know him. And I love him. And, even better, he loves me. And that is all that matters anymore.