Blood Line

Blood#9- White roses

blood#9- White Roses

GALE's POV:

The sunlight was mesmerizing within my bulged eyes, exhausted from the yesterdays difficulties to fall asleep. The brightness submerging my devastated heart. Almost forgetting how to breathe properly.

My consciousness was still reeling around on my memory about him, like it was purposely rewinding on my mind letting me to feel the same affirmation of what I felt yesterday. The strange feeling of admiration within his beauty and the beast inside him.. It was like a nightmare that I never wanted to woke up because the feeling of horror really fascinate me, the horror of astonishment and coherent fazed momentum when he said those words.

I love you. Did I heard it right or my ear was becoming weak and full of dirt inside, I think I should go to a doctor to checked if I'm still mentally balance.

Love? why he said that? did he really meant it or he was just being an asshole playing me around, but for what I saw in his eyes the only thing covered them was the sincere and vulnerable emotion that usually no one could see it from him. Because outside he always acted so rude and arrogant, a womenizer and he was like sex addicted. Those are the reason why I don't believed any of his words. Yes, I let him kissed me and hugged me whenever he wanted because I really like him but still I don't want to fall with the word they called 'love', its so ironic and dramatically insane if I would say I never want to fall in love instead I really am curious about that thing. All the people I've known who had fell in love was unbelievably happy with their partner and some are not because the person they wanted to be will never be with them.

I doesn't have a clue about what was it and I knew I never felt it or maybe I did.

From that I remembered one person who was closed to that, I admired him easily and I even wanted to see him everyday if it is possible but since he never shown up for this past few days my hope declined and the eagerness of my astonishment for that guy was slowly decreasing. Maybe because I met Raven who was very blatant to show how much he like me. I just can't held myself to doubt him because he had a reputation and that never been a helped for me to like him back. Yah, maybe I like him a little but not enough to call it love. Well every girl I knew had a crush on him, no blame cause I knew myself why.

I remembered when Anika told me what love is. She said. "..Love is the greatest thing that anyone aim to have and if someone finds it they were the fortunate one on earth. The thing never been a easy one to search and dig for few days instead lover is an emotion you have to find for the rest of your life, you will never find it for such a short period of time but instead it should be with you all the time".

I asked her how will I find love? or how can I know if someone really loves me. If there's someone who would tried to. "..no one knows how love works but for me love is not all about appearance and how good a person was, love is acceptance and never been selfish.. if you really love someone you have to be happy for her/him with or without him/her giving back the same emotion like you did for that person. It will never asked for something instead love will give everything without waiting for someone to turn it back.. live is what you feel for only none person.. it will never be rowing a boat in two rivers but instead a two boat rowing the same river..".

Though I never understand what she said but still Raven was not on that category and he will never be. Am I trying to convince myself to believe his words? actually no, I'm just trying to figure out what was the really thing. Maybe its not a worth of something bad if I tried to like him but I'm not really sure if I'm ready about it. Maybe I can do it if I retrieved my memories back to me.

I shuffled on the side of my bed still wide eyes awake and the sleepiness didn't visited me yet.

From the loneness of the night and the deafening sounds of tranquility made me to think about him. Raven was quite mysterious guy, he always puzzled up my brain from how he acted towards me, his sudden swung of moods really bothered me. Inside the campus he acted so cruel, quite, unbreakable, arrogant and smug the same as when we are on the front of his friends and with his brother, he acted more than a crown prince which always acted so bossy and very presumptuous like the world was revolving just for him. But every moment we are alone with each other (which was very few moment) he acted so vulnerable and easy to talk with except being so quiet but still he acted so different.