persuasive

heart to heart

exhausted. your body is exhausted. but somehow you can't get a second of sleep as you toss in turn in bed. your mind is wide awake and so active it's excruciating.

the thoughts tormenting you are all of a few hours ago. in that fucking closet.
i kissed him, you repeated to yourself.
what the hell is wrong with me?
you hated him. so badly. so what persuaded you to kiss him so passionately? practically beg him to finger fuck you? you hated him for being so mean to you for no real reason...partially, you hated him for his self importance, his lack of empathy, his aggression, his manipulative lips, the way he made your friends cry, how everything he ever wanted was just handed to him, and most of all how fucking desirable he was despite all of these things.

you left the party directly after your mistake while your dormate, sasha stayed behind. she was sad to watch you go but she got over it quick when her boy toy offered to take her home. his home that is.
so you layed in bed, in your dorm, alone with nothing but your own mind. it's torture.

she'd bombarded you with questions when you left that foresaken room and before you left the house completely, everyone there did. and you lied your ass off.
"nothing did. it was so awkward the entire time"
you lied to everyone, only hoping he would do the same. you'd be so embarrassed if this got out, so so ashamed if everyone knew that the man you claim to loathe with every bone in your body got you to the edge of cumming all over his fingers in  7 minutes. pathetic, you thought i'm so pathetic.

your pillow was over your head as you groaned, only thinking of how you'd never be able to forget the taste of his lips, the feel of his fingers and the memory of this escapade all together. because it was your first time ever experiencing anything like that. his touch is engraved into your mind and skin forever now.

as you wallowed in regret, sadness, and hate, there was a knock at your door. you looked at the digital clock on your nightstand, it read 12:54. what could someone possibly be knocking at your door for at twelve o'clock midnight?

it had to be sasha, right? it's the only plausible answer, she ritually forgot her keys too.

you arose from bed, slid on a nearby pair of tiny pajama short as you usually slept pantsless, and walked across the creaky floor to open the door.

"sasha, you gotta stop for-" the sight before you cuts off the words in your throat, it's not sasha. not even close, it's the last person in the entire universe you'd want to see, ever.
swiftly, without another word from you or the man behind the door you slam it closed. or at least you try to, he plants his foot between the door and its frame just before it shut completely.
you continue with all your might to push it closed, but to no avail. on the other side, he's doing the same, and you're no match for him. he isn't even using his full strength, and it's kind of scary how the door flys open so easily. you stumble back, falling on your ass as you watch in horror the green eyed man trespassing into your home. closing the door behind him.

"what the fuck are you doing here, how do you even know where i live?!" you shout at him, your eyebrows furrowed and eyes stern as they look up at him, a much, much different look from what you were giving him the last time you were alone together.

"connie told me," he smiled down at you, like none of this was a big deal. his nonchalant exterior only made you angrier. "and i wanna talk to you."

"i don't want to talk to you eren, get the fuck out." 
you deadpanned, his smile dropped to a hard stare.

"we're gonna talk." he grabbed your wrist and roughly pulled you up with a single hand. you pulled and pulled as he practically dragged you back to your bed, pushing you onto it but not before setting his keys down on your table and pulling up the chair that goes with it to sit on, bucking his hips up and spreading his legs apart as to sit more comfortably.