"That was wrong, Heinz." Perry stared longingly at my bare ass as I knelt down, scrubbing the floor.
"I know, Perry."
"No, Heinz. That was wrong."
I huffed as I wiped down the floor one last time, then began to stand up. Perry was curled up on the green couch, watching me. I threw the dirty dish towels in the trash can and joined them, folding my legs underneath me and leaning my head into their shoulder.
"Why do you say it like that?"
They thought for a moment. "There's a sad look in your eyes, Doof. One that, as a platypus, I wouldn't have been able to see. But I see it now. Where does that come from?"
"Your emotional intelligence has grown along with other things." I replied, eyeing their breasts. "I used to be married."
"To Charlene, yes. I know."
"Yes, well... I suppose some things just don't work out how you'd like them to, so you fill the void with ego. With shreds of personality so that hopefully, one day, you have the chance to reclaim what was taken from you."
"Interesting." Perry thought for a moment. "I would never have done that had I been someone else, by the way."
This surprised me. "Someone else?"
"Yes." Perry hesitated, feeling my confusion. "Well I figure that my biology has completely shifted from who I was this morning. I woke up a dumb pet, following orders from an agency who doesn't care if I live or die. And now here I am, a full grown human person with a different body and a surplus of hormones. I must be a different creature."
This made a shred of sense, and admittedly it was what was going through my mind as Perry and I had done the deed. Is this the same Perry I had fought for years? The same one who'd soiled so many of my plans?
"But you are still you, no? I mean, your soul."
"How do you know?"
I thought for a moment. "What do you mean?"
"How do you know I am me? That my soul is still mine? That your inator didn't replace my soul along with my body? If all you can physically see is my form -- a shape you seem to enjoy a lot more then the last -- how do you know that you are talking to the same platypus as before, and not an extraordinarily similar entity?"
"You still sound like you. You still have the memories, don't you?"
"Sure but... it all feels so distant now. Almost like it's been communicated through a string of telephones. And I'm left with newer, complex feelings that belittle what I used to experience. It makes me feel so... different."
"Perhaps my inator also transforms animals into armchair philosophers."
Perry laughed, before becoming quiet again. "What was taken from you?"
"What?"
"What do you hope to reclaim by creating a creature such as myself? You said it earlier. You hope to fill the void left by Charlene -- or perhaps some other party -- with ego and reclaim what they'd taken. Well? What did they take?"
I readjusted, leaning back against the arm of the couch and giving Perry some space. "Well... my money, for one. I signed a pre-nup with Charlene, so that's gone. But if you're asking for a more profound loss... my life."
"How did she take your life?"
"Well, she took my time. She occupied months, years even. And for what? A divorce settlement and a child who doesn't love me? What else would you define as life if not the time you spend building it? And when it's destroyed... well I feel like it has been taken."
"And the way to reclaim it is by eliminating the possibility of chance. Create the perfect woman, get married, get things on track. Stick it to your ex-wife?"
"While I never put it like that, I suppose that was my idea behind the inator."
"And what about your daughter?"
"Well she's the reason I made the inator. I want to be the father I never had so she wouldn't turn out like me."
"I thought you made the inator to reclaim lost time?"
I went quiet. Perry had made a good point. The inator sat in my peripheral vision, the subject of the contradiction I'd just woven. A monument to my motivation, a symbol of what I desired. But what was it I desired? A better life for myself or my daughter?
"Where is she now, Doof?" Perry had taken a somber tone. They knew what my answer was.
"I don't know."
"It's your day today, isn't it?"
I nodded. Perry nodded with me, then looked around at my lab. Failed experiments lay on the tables, piles of scrap in cardboard boxes underneath. Hundreds of blueprints, drawn up and discarded. Years of work on my own.
"Your parents never loved you, Doof." Perry said, turning back to me. "Or at least you never thought they did. Because they were never there. What was your dad's childhood like?"
I had no idea. He'd never talked about it. Perry observed my reaction and nodded.
"And does Vanessa know what your childhood was like? I do because I am the one who has stopped you at every turn throughout your career, so we've had time to talk. We're coworkers. But does Vanessa?"
Another question where my reaction gave away the answer.
"Doof, I think you need to get out of your lab more. Go see Vanessa. I've had fun here, I have. But what she needs is her father to be there. What you need is to be there. By focusing so much on this reclamation of your life and not giving Vanessa hers, you've perpetuated the cycle that kept your father and Charlene from giving you yours. All it takes is for one generation to be selfless in their endeavors to get the ball rolling. Everyone after that will have a much better chance of making those around them happy."
I sat back. Perry was right. I knew they were. It just hurt. I stood up and turned around, facing whom I had once thought of as my creation but now regarded as a being I'd only helped to transform.
"You are Perry the Platypus. You are my arch nemesis. You may have a different body, but I suppose your previous body changed before it was what I saw this morning, so that's not what makes you you. You may feel your soul has changed, but the flowing waters of a river are never the same molecules that had been there before, yet it is still regarded as the same river, therefore what is inside does not make you you either. I do not know what makes you you, Perry, but I know you're here now. I know you're the one talking, whoever you may be. And I know you've enlightened me on some things that I'd previously been blind to, and for that, I have to thank you. But, as you've made clear, you are not the answer to my problems. That lies in what is already here, and not constructs or manipulations of other entities. I will reverse the polarity of the machine and change you back into a platypus."
"I would appreciate that, Doof."
We smiled at each other. My old friend stood up and we exchange looks of hesitation. They did have a rockin' ass pair of tits.
"One for good measure?" They asked, smirking.
"Fuck it, why not?"
Perry pushed me backwards onto the couch, their mouth practically foaming with desire. They spit on my cock and sandwiched it between their boobs, rubbing back and forth aggressively.
"Norm! Get your ass over here!"
"Coming, sir!"
In a matter of seconds, Norm's gigantic robot schlong was inserted into Perry's anus, triggering a euphoric moan as they continued to clap my cock between their breasts, now lubricated from their own spit.
"I'm sorry sir, but I may have accidentally loaded my prostate with helium and not sperm, sir." Norm yapped.
Perry came, shaking in between Norm and I. The intense vibration was enough to make me cum, as well. My Doofen-Shmirtz splashed Perry in the face. Norm made a panicked sound, and I looked up to see Perry, enlarged by the helium injection, blowing up like a balloon. They inflated to the point where their hands and feet were mere attributes to their bulbous, round body. Their breasts had also, thankfully, inflated, and now felt even softer than before. I squeezed one and Perry giggled.
