Go take a bath to cool down if you're hot

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Becky was pacing back and forth in her condo she was worried about freen, it was hours ago since freen left the company. At first her first reflex was to drink but then she remembered what she promised to do and to be better not only for herself but for her family and for freen too, never again she would drink for the bad reason. So she poured the drink just to have the effect to have a drink in her hand she twirled the liquor again and again like if in the bottom of it have all the answers, but her mind was running wild.

Two weeks she think to herself two weeks to broke the promise that she did to freen, fourteen fucking days and here she goes again screw everything again.
Walking in her condo she goes to a room that she didn't set a foot in it since she move in, the piano room.

Looking back in the days she loves so much playing this instrument, but now when she looked at it all she saw was a painful reminder of her mother. When her mom was still alive she spends hours and hours playing it for her mom, she remembered the proud look of her mom, how in peace she was when she was playing for her, at first she smiled at the memories then her face became somer when she recalled how her mom collapsed in front of her when she was playing and died few hours later.


She remembered the panic and the fears she felt to see her mom falling down completely lifeless, at that time she wasn't aware that her mom was sick but everyone else knew, while she live in a blissful ignorance everyone fucking knew, everyone excepted her. When her mom died all her came crumbled down.

In a way Tristan was right she did kill her mom if it wasn't for her, her mom would surely tried the chemotherapy, if it wasn't for her maybe richie, irin, and her dad would be more happy and her mother would be still here. If it wasn't for her to be so young when her mother was being diagnosed with the cancer that eat her away slowly through the years her mother would surely take an another decision.

She remembered how angry she was when she learned that her mother was diagnosed when she was 8, why did her dad fought more harder for her mom to heal herself, why didn't her siblings begged harder. She was angry at them at her herself at her mom it's then that she changed if her didn't loved her this much she would be still alive now, she wouldn't suffer this much. It was then she understood that love was a weakness and she decided to be selfish.

She blames herself when she read the letter of her mother, when she explained that she preferred to live the fullest with them rather than be in and out of hospital, that it wasn't becky fault that she was so young that she prefers that becky had a image of her other smiling lively rather than weak in a hospital bed.

The thought on her mind then was how much her mother suffered alone just to preserved her, how her dad suffered knowing that he can't do anything to relieve the pain of her mother. Till this day she didn't forgive herself for the death of her mom even if no one blamed her, she can't help but feel guilty, and that guilt she carried it away with her until now.

Looking at the piano she sits of front of it caressing the key, she wonder if she can one day see her solace once again in that instrument.


The ringing of her phone interrupted her thoughts praying that it was freeen, seeing it was non she frowned letting out a sigh of disappointment was already late it was strange for him to call her.

''Hello?'' Becky heard noises behind surely he was in bar knowing it was the week end already.

''Euh... beck don't be mad at me, but are you by any chanced a fight with freen today, or maybe did you two break up already?'' He asked, because of what he was seeing freen was clearly drunk talking to a beautiful woman at first he was thinking it was becky because they look alike a bit, but then he realized it wasn't her. And apparently freen was having a great time laughing and all and the other girl was clearly attracted to freen.

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