What makes a man?

How to start

               Being a frog had always made me see the world differently, just like my parents who'd croak and hop all day I was expected to do the same. Even though sometimes I didn't feel like I wanted to. When I'd look at the sky with my father, he'd tell me about how he saw stars shining, meanwhile I'd dream about how it'd feel to be a part of that world. Seeing birds fly around me would make me green with envy. Their care-free attitudes would make me feel like there isn't enough for me in the world. Maybe if I were a bird it's be easier. No. I doubt it.

              What would actually make me question who I am is seeing just how much better others might have it. It's not that I have it bad. I could never say that, but even though I have everything anyone can dream of I just don't feel happy. I look at my own reflection in the pond waters and want to disappear. My spots are out of place and my body looks wrong. My eyes are way too big for a frog and I look too weird. At one point I'd spent all my time in the dark because the pond would force me to look at myself. My parents are so loving yet they just refuse to understand me.

           I would saw that things happened in the past that I never healed from, I could never recover from those memories or feelings. They just stick around with me for the longest time, never being able to leave, always occupying my thoughts. I've mastered the art of telling my parents that I'm all right even if I'm not, only because I want the best for them. Even if they don't see it or don't understand it at all. All the small cuts on my skin from thorns show that I've survived so fare, but they don't need to know that those thorns were there because of them. The things a frog must see while being so small in such a big world is painful. Especially when such frog grows as the oldest. In a pond with so many amphibians, where all the place knew my father was difficult to maintain such high ground. In this world I'd have to fight for survival to still be on top of it all. The fact that I'm my father's child makes me tired at times, since I'm asked to give the world, but only can give the minimum, barely even a piece of grass. I try to shine on top but I'm just not cut out for it.

          Every night now I ponder the sky alone, I have little to call my home. It's so difficult to put my thoughts on why I have everything, yet am so melancholic. I hope the future waits for more, but there's not much I can do so far, maybe someday in the future I'll wake up as another animal, it doesn't matter what. As long as I'm nothing like a frog..