Not Same| My Demon

Chapter One: What Is Love?

HAZEL CYRUS

Love, affectionate, benevolent concern or care, feeling of intense attraction towards somebody, is something I don't wanna experience.

Not at all.

People think the best feeling in the world is to be in love with a person of your dream but on the contrary, it's the worst feeling at the end of the day.

You end up losing someone dear to you because you're surrounded by cruel people in a cruel world and you're blinded by love.

Love doesn't save a person, it cannot save a person. But still, someone in my dream told me that love could save a person and he said he would prove it. How?

I'd never live the kind of life where I could be loved by those whom I love.

Anything that can't save someone is worthlessly useless. "Food can save me." I told myself as I shove a huge fresh corn omelette into my mouth.

Hmm. This could save, it definitely will.

"Hazel, still eating?" My father, Mr Jeremy Cyrus asked.

I didn't say anything but nod my head. "Are you leaving?"

"Yeah, I had somethings to deal with."

"You always have things to deal with." I replied, without raising my voice. I never did.

My father and I do not stay together since I was Sixteen, but he often comes to my house. He's very eminent attorney but I considered his work dangerous, because people were always trying to harm him in one way or the other. I believe he doesn't want to live with us so that we wouldn't get hurt.

My mom had a mental illness when my younger brother, Alex Cyrus was fourteen and she tried to kill me together with her from the rooftop so the cops and nurses took her away. I was very scared then.

She escaped from the psychiatric hospital and sneaked back home, then she took me with her to the rooftop and hugged me so tight.

She told me how much she loved me and she didn't want to die without me. "Hazel darling, if I die alone it would be so lonely there. Would you please come with your mom? Let's die together." I recalled her desperate voice.

I couldn't see her properly because my eyes were filled with tears, I didn't want to die. The cops shot her right before she jumped from the rooftop with me in her arms. The nurses took me away and the cups took her away, even though she was shouting.

After I had returned back to my room in the night, dad came and found me together with Alex in my bedroom. We couldn't sleep because we were too scared.

"Dad, where's mom?" I asked him as he sat before the two of us.

"Your mom is seriously ill and I sent her to a mental asylum in Tamil Nadu." He replied shakily.

"Where's that?" Alex asked curiously.

"Its a state in the southern India, its a very far place from here which means she could never see you or think about hurting any of you."

Alex was too worried than I am. "Would she ever be fine? Will we see her again?"

"Kids, you're supposed to be sleeping." Dad said instead.

"We need an answer first!" I scoffed.

He sighed. "I'm afraid you won't see your mother again, kids. You should go to sleep.

Alex bursted into tears and buried his head in the crook of my neck, while dad walked away slightly embarrassed.

I patted Alex's back and kept apologising for nothing until he felt asleep. Then I walked out of the room and met Dad in the study.