comparison (Choso x reader)

self-loathing

( please read before starting the story!!)

Hey! This is just a warning that this story contains mentions of sh (self-harm) !!!

so if you are not comfortable with that please close this story out!

You looked at yourself in the mirror, self-loathing. "fuck why can't I be pretty." you think as you stretch your face around as you sob quietly. ever since Choso mentioned his ex-girlfriend you were in shambles, she looked so beautiful compared to you, you felt sick just looking at yourself, she was blonde, had curves, beautiful brown eyes, and a smile like no other woman. staring at the image in your phone just made you want to crawl into a ball and never look at any reflective surface again. the bathroom was dim, as you stared into the photo the only thing that lit up the room was your phone, as your mind started to overthink it was shut off due to noise, and you didn't even realize he was home. "hey, are you still in the bathroom? I just came back with the groceries, tell me if you need help with anything.." he says as you hear his footsteps as he walks away. you stare at the scars on your wrist as you contemplate relapsing after so long but you conclude you shouldn't because Choso is home. you turn on the sink as you start to wash your face trying to get rid of the redness from the crying, wondering if you should even get out of the bathroom.

You turn the water off as you hear Choso putting the food away, you open the window trying to calm down, and let the fresh air hit your face. after a while, your phone buzzes it gives you a sign that you should probably get out of the bathroom, without even looking at your face you open the door and shut it quietly as you don't want to put the groceries away. as you sit on the bed contemplating on what to do, you wrap yourself around a blanket and lay in bed, you had so many questions to ask him but at the same time, it was hard for you to even look at him, "I bet if she wasn't dead he'd be with her." you thought as you started to tear up again 'fuck' you think as you start to sob again as you hold yourself under the blankets.

You knew this house wasn't necessarily sound proof so you sobbed as quietly as possible as you thought horrible things about your boyfriend, you loved him but you hated how they dated somehow you felt so insignificant because of her she looked so perfect yet you, look at you crying over this. compared to her you were so different you wished she was ugly or a horrible person so you could justify what you felt but you knew this was horrible to think as the thoughts began to fill your head you heard the door click 'click!' the door opened slowly you were faced the other way so you couldn't see Choso, you didn't want to look at him, not like this, not right now. "hey.. honey are you okay?" you hear him say as the voice gets louder "don't look at me. please." you whisper but loud enough that he could hear you. "please sweetheart, what's wrong??" he asks concern as he sits on the bed "don't call me that please." you say to push him away but you knew choso had such a big heart to push away. "please, talk to me? what's wrong? did I do something?" he questions with a frown. you start to cry because of his questions you know he hasn't done anything wrong but you knew you'd feel horrible if you told him why you were upset.

"I'm sorry." was the only thing you could muster up as you cried "Please, tell me what's wrong I'm begging," he whispered. it's quiet for a while as you try to calm down. you take your blanket off as you try to turn around to face him. his eyes widen as he sees how puffy your eyes are. you just start to cry again you couldn't handle being looked at especially because you felt so pathetic. Choso immediately hugged you he felt so guilty even if he didn't know what he did but if it had you crying this hard it had to be bad. "I'm sorry" he whispers as he caresses your back. Even if he was part of the thing that irritated you, his touch felt too good to let go of, you held him for, what felt like, an eternity. you pull your head away to look at his, beautiful brown eyes "I'm sorry, Choso.." you say as you hug him a bit tighter "No, I'm sorry, if your fine with telling me, what happened?" he questions, your eyes start to tear up again but you fight it. "your ex-girlfriend.." you whisper "hm what about her?" Choso says as snuggles you "Ever since you mentioned her, I've.." you pause for a few seconds causing Choso to hug you tighter. "comparing.. myself, to her..." you whisper trying to keep your composure. "I feel like, if she wasn't gone you'd never even look at me.." Choso stays silent for a few seconds.

he exhales and nuzzles your neck "Honey, she would never compare to what I have now, I have you and I wouldn't change it for anything." he exhales on your neck causing you to shutter. "are you sure, I mean shes so-" "I mean it, I love you so much no matter how flattering someone's body looks it's what's inside" he says with a smile "I love you so much Choso please remember that." you both lay down still snuggling each other under the sheets, he gives you a sweet kiss on your forehead as you nuzzle into his chest and exhaling loudly. you feel him caress your back again making you feel all warm inside. he gives you one more kiss on your head as he squeezes you tightly making you wiggle a bit, you giggle and give him a kiss on the lips "I Love you.." is the last thing you say before you both drift to sleep..

the end :3

I hope you guys enjoyed this cause I don't see a lot of Yuki talk in the Choso x reader fandom so decided to make one :3 (sorry about the pet names I hate using y/n)