Crimson Gold: Rebirths and Redemption

Chapter 3

She thought this is what her marriage will be for the rest of her life, she had a headache trying to think of a way and almost letting herself give up thinking of having to wait longer, but finally after two years, heaven gave her a chance when he was wounded after fighting the barbarians on the frontier, speared on his arm and shoulder, thankfully saved by his brother in arm. Even then she was almost barred by Madam Wei to even meet him as according to her, she will only bring him misfortune. Yet, she pushed through and took care of him for those long 6 months.

During those six months of tending to the general's wounds, Xunmi demonstrated resilience and compassion. She navigated through the challenges imposed by the watchful eyes of his mother, determined to fulfill her role as his wife. The spear wound, a harsh reminder of the perils he faced at the frontier, required careful attention and nursing.

And, in those quiet sanctuary of their shared moments, Xunmi's persistent efforts began to yield a subtle transformation. The daily routine of tending to his physical wounds became a bridge to the emotional scars he harbored. As she changed bandages and applied salves, a delicate dance unfolded between them—one that went beyond the mending of flesh and delved into the intricacies of their hearts.

The general, once guarded and reserved, began to sense the genuine concern and compassion in Xunmi's actions. The physical vulnerability brought on by his injuries allowed a flicker of emotional vulnerability to surface. As the barriers crumbled, hesitant conversations took root, and the shadows of his past started to emerge in the hushed confessions shared within the confines of their chamber.

In the hushed moments of their conversation, Jiang Weimin spoke mostly of his childhood. He and his mother had moved to the Wu town near the border, following his father, the Old General Jiang. At first he talked of the small town, full of simple, kind but persevering people who took care of him and his sick mother when his father was away, and then of his brother in arms, Bai Xiangtian, who had saved him on the battlefield, the pranks and trouble they created for the adults. The general's tone softened as he delved into memories of Bai Xiangtian's little sister, Bai YueLiang who stubbornly followed them around, and the laughter-filled childhood 3 of them shared in Wu Town

Xunmi, intrigued by the tales of his valiant and adventurous sister, felt a twinge of jealousy as she listened. Bai YueLiang seemed to embody the spirit of a heroine, fearlessly following them. However, the atmosphere shifted abruptly when Xunmi inquired about how Bai YueLiang was doing now.

The general's expression turned alarmed, and he deftly steered the conversation away, growing cold and distant once again. Confused and left in the dark, Xunmi could only stop and left him to rest. It was only a few days later, during a bandage change, that he finally revealed the truth about Bai YueLiang.

With a heavy heart, he disclosed that Bai YueLiang had been dead for five years, her life cut short by robbers on the street. The revelation cast a somber shadow over their conversation. The general's self-blame and guilt echoed in the room as he spoke of his inability to protect Bai YueLiang. He shared the painful details of their last interaction – a heated argument days before, which led him to decline her invitation for reconciliation. This left her alone in the tea house for hours, vulnerable and exposed. Tragically, it was on her way home that she encountered the robbers who took her life.

The weight of remorse and guilt hung heavily in the air. He bared his soul to her, confessing how his own cruelty and stubbornness had contributed to Bai YueLiang's tragic death. He grieved of how careless he was, how cruel he was to repaid the care he had received from the Bai family and yet his own inability to protect Yueliang, no, to the point that he had caused her death, a burden that he stored inside his heart since his youth and become stronger with him even now, as Bai XiangTian had recently saved him.

He revealed that he couldn't marry Xunmi five years ago was due to the mourning period he had imposed on himself. Consumed by guilt and a profound sense of responsibility for Yueliang's demise, he couldn't, in good conscience, embark on a joyous union while the specter of his past actions loomed large. Over the years, this internal struggle intensified with the wars on the frontier, but when Xunmi's family broke off their engagement, a profound sense of loss gripped him.

The pain was so deep that it pierced through the layers of guilt and reluctance that had held him back. In response to the severed engagement, he embarked on a journey that spanned a week, barely stopping, riding tirelessly on his horse. The sole purpose of this relentless pursuit was to reach Xunmi and plead for a chance and for her forgiveness.

"Then why did you ignore me so, even now husband?"

"I-", he stuttered, "My hands and myself are the cause of so much death Xunmi, I dont want to sully someone as pure and angelic as you with this bloody hand"

"That's such a stupid...", she stopped herself, 'I too am a human husband, I am not an angel nor am I as pure as you think, I make mistake, and even now, sometimes I can't help but be jealous when you spoke of Bai YueLiang - A dead woman" her eyes glistening with tears and red with shame.

"Xunmi..." His eyes, filled with a mix of sorrow and self-loathing, met hers. "Xunmi, you don't understand. The blood on my hands, the lives lost because of my choices, my mistake isn't...I...I can't bear to see the same fate befall you if I make the same mistake."

"That's such a misguided reason," Xunmi responded, her voice trying to maintain a calm demeanor despite the underlying frustration. "Do you believe that isolating me will somehow cleanse your hands of the blood you've shed? If you genuinely seek redemption and wish to honor Bai YueLiang's memory, then shouldn't your path be one of becoming a better man? Pushing me away won't absolve you of your sins, it merely adds another layer of regret to the burden you already carry."

He listened in silence, his gaze shifting between her eyes and the space beyond. The weight of his guilt, the shadows of the past, lingered in the air, but Xunmi stood firm. The road to redemption would be challenging, but she was determined to navigate it alongside him.

"Husband, you do not have the authority to decide what I can endure. I've told you before but I am not a delicate flower that wilts at the first sign of adversity. If you genuinely seek redemption, if you wish to make amends, then allow me to be a part of that journey. Shutting me out won't protect me from your perceived darkness; it only denies us both the opportunity for happiness."

The weight of this revelation hung in the air, The moon continued its silent vigil, casting a gentle glow over the courtyard as they confronted the shadows that haunted their shared history. After a moment of silence, his hand grazed her face and he leans in closer, kissing her.

But as if the spell is broken, he suddenly pushed her away, "I...I'm sorry, Xunmi. I'm tired," he mutters, his gaze averted.

Xunmi accepted his apology with a nod, though disappointment lingered in her eyes. She gracefully stepped back, creating a respectful distance between them. The moon continued its silent vigil, casting a soft glow on the courtyard, as if witnessing the ebb and flow of emotions between the two.

Jiang Weimin, his eyes reflecting a mix of weariness and regret, observed her subtle withdrawal. "Xunmi, I..."

"General, there's no need for further words," she interrupted gently, her voice composed. "Rest well, I'll wait for you"

With that, she turned and walked away, the hem of her delicate robes trailing behind her. The night enveloped her figure, leaving Jiang Weimin alone in the moonlit courtyard, grappling with the shadows that lingered in his past and the unspoken complexities that veiled their shared journey.