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I can tell he's confused

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I can tell he's confused. He's asking questions, touching my shoulders to get me to look up at him, but all I'm focusing on is waiting out the pain. Maybe he's just too big that he was designed to hurt, or maybe I just wasn't ready. Whatever the case, I'm feeling fearful and bitter.

"Let me rest," I plea.

He stops demanding answers and helps me lean back. I curl into a fetus position, and although he lays behind me, it no longer feels as comforting.

I close my eyes and regulate my breathing. Sleep doesn't come for a long time, and the same goes for Drakkon.

Things are awkward in the morning. The uncomfortable ache between my legs is a constant reminder of what happened last night. I can tell Drakkon wants to ask me what went wrong, but honestly, I don't know the answer.

Drakkon leaves to hunt. I remind myself that besides everything; he wants the best for me. I highly doubt he hurt me on purpose. There must have been some misunderstanding, or maybe our bodies aren't compatible. I can't keep silent forever, no matter how awkward and anxious I feel and want to hide.

I've hidden underground for too long. It's time to be brave.

I change into long trousers and a long sleeve, covering as much skin as possible. It's my futile attempt at protecting myself from intimacy. When he returns, I thank him for the various fruits he brought, but set them aside because I have no appetite.

"Drakkon?"

He stops what he's doing and perks, as if desperate for conversation with me.

"Can we talk about last night?"

"Yes," he instantly replies. "You have my apologies for hurting you, Lucky. I would never want this."

"It didn't feel good when you entered," I admit, my shoulders falling and my gaze lowering. "Should it always feel like that?"

He frowns. "No, of course not. You were supposed to see the stars. I did not expect you to be unprepared to take me."

"Drakkon, I had never done that before."

He dips his head. "I had no idea. You are a beautiful female and I thought you had a parter by now."

"I should have told you." I cross my arms over my chest. This is the most uncomfortable conversation I've ever had. "Maybe you're just too big."

"No," he denies. "The females of my race are just... wider. I did not know your tightness was possible."

Well, that explains it. He thought he could just ram into me because I was the size of a soda can.

"Human women are much smaller than that. They can expand and contract." Even I, who have no sexual experience or education, know this. I can't blame him for being ignorant of our bodies. After all, he's an alien.

Drakkon looks amazed by this. He looks at my thighs before remembering to keep his eyes north. I bet he's dying to have sex now, but I don't know how long it will take me to be ready again. He makes me feel so good with his tongue, but the rest of him is so alien, so strong and dominant, that it's overwhelming.

"Please forgive my ignorance," he says. Just one look at his expression lets me know that he's genuine. He's not simply trying to get back in my pants.

"I forgive you." And that's it. I'll probably keep wearing long pants and sleep away from him out of intimidation, but I'm not angry.

"Thank you. I don't deserve you."

That's the end of it. We don't plan for tomorrow or next week, we just take the next few days one at a time.

I try to shake off my intimidation, because I want to try again, but I can't even get myself to ask him to sleep beside me at night.

It's frustrating, wanting my body to stop stiffening and it not responding. There's so much pressure on me because I know intimacy is important for love. The portal to his planet needs to be opened as soon as possible, but this is a setback I could've never expected.

After three days, I decide the best plan is to discuss further with Drakkon. I ask him to go for a walk with me. We roam the building, since going outside still isn't an option. As we walk beside each other, our hands brush a few times. I remind myself to be brave and try harder. With a burst of energy, I take Drakkon's hand and entwine our fingers.

My heart is racing in my chest, but Drakkon doesn't escalate things. He keeps his hand relaxed around mine. He doesn't pull me closer or ask for more. It makes me feel safer.

We can do this. We can try again.

"Are you alright?" Drakkon asks, ever so watchful.

We stop by a cracked window. The warm sunlight that streams in caresses my skin, soothing me.

"It's been hard, but I'm trying."

He nods, but I can tell the big guy feels helpless. He has been trying too, and I appreciate that. He gives me space, wears shirts to cover his chest, and checks in on me.

"I'm still attracted to you," I admit. "You're handsome, strong, and make me feel good." I break eye contact, embarrassed because I'm not used to telling a man he's great at eating me out.

"I want to try again, but we must first plan everything to be safe."

"I will ensure you're well-lubricated," he replies instantly, as if he had thought of this already. "I will tend to your cunt until it is gushing."

Sweet apocalypse. I know he's trying his best to be serious, but this alien's words are so inconceivable that I'm in danger of spontaneously erupting.

"Okay..." I mumble.

"And I will enter you slowly. I don't care if it takes us hours."

"What if it hurts again?"

"Then I will stop. This is all about your comfort and safety." He squeezes my hand gently, and I feel one of the walls I've built around me collapse.

"Okay," I concede. "Let's try at the end of the week."

There's no flash of excitement on his face. He looks solemn, unnerved about what's coming. I believe in him, though, and I'm sure he'll try his hardest to not hurt me again.

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