A WINTER OF CHANGE[Complete]

4

The loud pounding roused him out of his sleep. Benjamin groaned, moved and almost fell to the floor. He rubbed his sleepy eyes, looked at his battered little watch on the bedside table and cringed. It was after nine in the morning. He remembered he finished cleaning the hall. All that was left was to set the tables. After he found inspiration to write again he wrote until three in the morning. That's why he woke up late today.

The pounding continued, he called out to whoever was standing at the door to stop as he went out in his dark blue pyjamas to open the door. Once again he was surprised to see who was at the door early in the morning. When he was coming to open the door he thought it would be one of the town people asking for help. But it wasn't them, it was Melanie carrying a small basket in her right hand.

"I thought we could have breakfast together," she announced, he noticed she sounded unsure of herself, nervous even. She had no reason to act like that. Perhaps she thought he would send her away.

"Alright," he drawled. They were treading on dangerous waters. If her father ever learned of this, he was going to chase him away from here. Clearly, he had nowhere to go but who cares. If spending some time with her was going to get him in trouble and out of the cabin it was a price he was very willing to pay.

They sat down at his round dining table, she placed the food around and poured him some orange juice. "What brought this on?" He was curious to know.

She gazed at him and looked down then said, "it's always lonely up there. Most of the time my father is locked up in his office and I always eat alone."

"I thought you brought your son with you?"

"I did but his father came and took him away. Julian will spend Christmas with him," she said. So that was her son's name.

"Oh," he said, gulping down the orange juice. Melanie put some food on her plate and he did the same. They ate in silence, he guessed it was better than listening to her marriage problems. The mayor was a very persistent man and soon or later she was going to yield to her father and run back to her husband, the thought alone hurt.

"Have you ever thought of marrying someone?" Benjamin placed the cup of juice which she had refilled back on the table. He looked at her, thinking for a while.

"Not really," and it was the truth. Only whores got close to him in that way, no one wanted a hideous man like him in their life.

"Why not? you're a nice man any woman will be lucky to have you," he scowled at her. It was obvious her divorce was affecting her in some kind of way. If it wasn't physical, then perhaps she was emotionally unstable now.

"Look at me," he gestured at himself.

"It's not about looks, Ben," she said. Melanie was the only one who called him Ben. He liked it a lot.

"Then what? People see the cover and they judge based on that."

"That's not true," she countered.

"Let me ask you a question," his eyes found hers. She remained quiet, her lips clamped shut. "Can you marry or love me?" The silence went on for a while. Benjamin laughed and continued to eat the breakfast she brought. Yes, he had laughed but deep inside he was hurting. It hurt so bad that he felt like he was in those unforgiving flames once again.

"I would marry you, without blinking an eye." He was still laughing when she said that. He stopped at once, of course she was lying to make him feel better.

"Don't lie to make me feel better, I can take the truth but I can't stand lies."

"I'm not lying," she persisted.

"Let's just end this talk, it will get us nowhere."

"You're right," she said. Benjamin thought she sounded offended about it. She had no reason to be offended, this was all about her fallen marriage. He was just a rebound when all the hurt and the guilt was over she was going to all but forget about him. After all he was the one people used, not the other way around.

"I should head back to the house," she said after they finished breakfast. He helped her clean up, she saved him from making breakfast. They cleaned up and placed the things back in the basket. He went to his room, shrugged on his coat and followed Melanie outside.

"I will see you later, I've got something to do."

"See you," he said. He was both relieved and saddened to watch her go. No matter how he tried to deny it, it felt good to have someone to talk to. Besides she was the one who brought back the writer in him to life. Now he was going to finish that manuscript and hide it away like the first one. He only wrote to stay sane, he used his characters to vent. Used them to do things he can never do in real life but in fiction he was able to do whatever it was he wanted to do. Writing kept him sane, it kept the demons inside of him at bay.