Sometimes Hate is Enough

Chapter 43

Anjali

I felt myself shaking as Chote said those things. How does he... How did he know all this? How long has he known? He...

"You... how did you... know?" I asked as I stared at him with wide eyes.

"I saw you manipulating Akash, Di! I saw you paying the man who helped Shyam escape jail. I..." He stopped.

I pressed my lips briefly as a tear fell from my eyes, and I asked, "Since when..." I stopped for a moment as my voice shook. "...did you?"

"A week after our return from Lucknow." Chote answered blankly as he held my eyes.

I swallowed deeply before glancing at Akash, who was looking at me shockingly. Then I again turned to Chote.

"Will you... forgive me?" I asked, even though I knew his answer. Chote was not someone who would take this lightly. But what could I've done?... I was so alone and lonely. And all my family could only think about was Khushi and Payal. All they cared about was them. Especially Nani. She didn't even glance at me once. In fact, she helped Bua Ji break my marriage. I know Shyam Ji cheated on me and didn't even love me. But... He toh was my world na. He...

"Do you regret doing what you did?" He asked instead.

I looked down at the ground. Do I?... No.

I shook my head before looking up at him and answering, "No."

His brows slightly rose, and his lips slightly parted for a moment before he closed them and looked at me with a heavy gaze.

"You don't regret ruining Akash's happiness or... mine?" He asked again.

"Do you regret ruining mine?" I asked instead as I felt my eyes welling up with tears, then pressed my lips together.

"Di, he cheated on you!" That was all he said.

"And she supported it!" I replied as I swallowed. "While you tried to hide it!" Why was Khushi feeling guilty about something that wasn't even her fault?

"Khushi didn't know he was married!" Chote tried defending. My own brother is defending a girl who ruined his sister's happiness and life. Why?... Because he fell in love.

I closed my eyes as I pressed my lips again to stop myself from tearing up, and I shook my head before looking at him.

"I..." My lips trembled. "...love him, Chote. Love!"

"And that's supposed to justify everything?" Akash asked from my right. No. It's not. It's never going to. But my feelings should also matter, shouldn't they?

I looked at him, then at Chote, before again turning back to look at him.

"How do you feel now?" I asked as I took a step toward him. "That she is with him. That she loves him, not you!"

Akash's face turned into a complete look of shock as his face paled.

Then I turned to Chote and walked up to him.

"And why did you confess to her today?" I asked as I stopped near him and tilted my head back to look at him with dried tear streaks on my face and narrowed questioning eyes.

He just swallowed and kept looking behind me, avoiding my eyes.

"I'll tell you why!" I kept looking into his eyes. "Because you're in that position in your life where you'll do anything to keep her in your life as a constant being. You'll get down to any level just to make sure she chooses you, or at least stay where you can see her."

When he didn't answer again, I swallowed and took a second to look into his eyes. How can he be so unbothered and emotionless? I pointed a finger at my heart as a tear fell from my eyes, and my lips trembled alongside my whole body.

"I... have been living with this feeling for seven years now, Chote. Seven years." I paused. "And as a family, I expected you all to stand beside me, but what all of you did was leave me like Shyam Ji did."

"Bitiya, it's not like that. You know!" Nani spoke from behind.

I turned over my shoulder and looked at her for a moment before laughing loudly.

"You think that going to the Gupta's within a few days of Shyam Ji's arrest to fix Akash's broken wedding was not a sign of not caring?" I asked with raised brows. "You choose them over me. You chose Payal's happiness over mine. When I was going through so much, and above all, when I was pregnant..."

"Di, you're not the victim here. And just to be clear, we never left you or made you feel like you're alone." Chote interrupted.

I didn't turn as I smiled slightly and said, "Maybe, I'm not! But you know this: I raised you. I know how easily you can abandon people."

Nani's face hardened by the time I finished, and she added, "Akash and Chote are also my grandson, as much as you are my granddaughter. So don't try to make me choose one, because I won't."

"Why will I ask you to choose when you have already done so?" I asked.

"Anjali Bitiya, why are you talking like this?" Mami asked.

I just shook my head as I turned to face Akash and Chote. Don't worry; I won't make you choose anyone. Because this time I'll choose. And I promise I'll do everything in my power to be happy and make the only one I can care for and love happy.

"You asked me if I regretted it?" I asked, glancing at the two of them as I realized how and who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. "I regret doing that to Khushi and Payal. But not to you two." I shook my head. "I really understand now why they didn't choose you. And now I'm also going to follow that path."

I looked at Chote in the eyes, and I saw a little glimpse of hurt there before adding, "I'm leaving. I can't let my daughter grow up in a family where the family doesn't come first." And because she deserves to be with a mother who deserves her, which I promise to be from now on.

I started for the stairs, but as I took a step, I stopped and turned to my family because what I did wasn't right and they deserved at least an apology.

"I'm sorry for everything I did. But you should know that I... really didn't have any other options after everything I saw and lost in those days."