Burden of Theseus- Vigilante/Villain SBI

Chapter One

Chapter 1

“Can I have an Americano frappe with blueberry-flavored whipped cream? Make sure, there are coffee beans sprinkled onto it, and cook the ice in room temp strawberry flavored water. The milk has to come from a macadamon olive nut that won't spoil till year 3000 and make sure the nut is purebred. Carmel syrup is to be sprinkled onto the nut before it is made into milk and make sure, you use a small spoon because big spoons cause the coffee to spill out. Don’t get a single thing wrong or say goodbye to your job.” she said in one breath, “ Thank you.” No way was I supposed to keep track of all that. “ We serve coffee here ma’am. “ Her narcissistic posture froze, “ excuse me?” Oh no. Not another one of these customers. “ You’re excused.” She gasps as if she wasn't expecting a response, “Where is your manager!” I narrow my eyes, “ Up your as-!” “ I’m so sorry ma’am for Tommy’s behavior. Can I offer you a gift card?” Tubbo cuts me off before I get fired. What would I do without him? Tubbo grabs a gift card off the counter and hands it to the egocentric woman.

“ At least someone here has manners, even if he’s a hybrid.” She emphasized the last word referring to Tubbo’s goat appearance. Why can’t people leave hybrids alone?! My friends haven’t done anything! Tubbo shrinks away in place having a staring contest with his hooves. The bitch struts away with pride filling her ego. “ How about you take a break, big man? You deserve it with all this shit people put you through. Ranboo’s back there as well.” I put a hand on his shoulder and led him through the doors to the break room. “ Thanks, Bossman.” His voice contrasted the loud thoughts that were in his head. I hate these people. “I care about you big man, don't forget that.” His somber smile reassures me that he’ll be alright.

Foolish parades in through the back alley door, apron in hand, “ I’m clocking in! Tommy get out of here!” His goofy smile shines in the room as the golden golem lights up the room with his presents, “ You got it!” I turn to Tubbo and Ranboo, “ I’m picking up groceries so when you clock out don’t go buy any!” They acknowledge me even though the Enderman hybrid is baking. I give a soothing pat to Tubbo before leaving in the direction of the store. Alleys look like runways as I sashay my way to the store with pride and music blasting in my ears.

The alley ends and now I have to walk onto the sidewalk with people. Ew. People pass without thought or concern for everyone else even when there are TV’s blaring about the casualties of the most recent and ongoing battle. I stop and stare at the seven TVs pulling my headphones out. “Dream lands a blow onto Siren! Finally! Oh, wait. It was a decoy! Zyphrus damn shadows made another decoy! Now it’s the blade's turn to take the spotlight-” I put my headphones back in ignoring the news. It’s the same thing every day. Heroes versus big evil villains. Same thing, same thing, over and over. Instead of helping everybody they focus on only the ones that can pay big.

I personally don’t like how the Syndicate doesn’t care if they kill people. I at least have a no-killing role. I’m better than those stinky villains. Siren and his Trench coat just makes him look like a theater kid. What a lame guy. Imagine being like thirty yet dressing like you’re going to be the star of Hamilton. Now the blade and Zephyrus I can understand. At least they are badass-looking despite Zephyrus not ever being seen. With a scoff, I march on to the grocery store.

Why do we need so many options for milk? Which one does Tubbo usually get? Is it even here? Did I go to the right store? I panic silently thinking of what I should get. Macadamia, or oat? What's the difference? “Excuse me child, but are you lost?” a gentle voice puts a spear through my raging thoughts, “ Child? Child?! Do I look like a child?!” I turn to where the gentle voice came from. A man wearing a cozy smile, and a green and white bucket hat stood. “ are you not?” His voice boomed as he let a delicate chuckle out. Is it just me or does my brain suddenly feel fuzzy?