Shivanya - the royal bride

feelings✨

Without coming into his sight, I walked towards my room. My hands were trembling  because I didn't know whether there was fear or sadness in my heart.  I was going towards Rana sa's room because now my room is not available and no longer it is mine but I don't know whether his room is mine or not.
I went straight towards the balcony from where I could see the distant mountains.  I clenched my hands into fists and took a deep breath.  My eyes start looking that girl or Rana sa together.  Suddenly I opened my eyes.  I really felt like crying today.  Too much.  But for whom should I cry for my fate who never supported me?
Earlier  in my father house I had no relationship with my family members or here in my in laws house the love of all the family I got except one person whom I have loved for the last five years. 
I don't know why I want to follow him, the way he looks at me, my mind feels at ease and I get drawn closer to him. His touching caused a different orientation.  But I can't think much about it because he doesn't think the way I think about him.  My heart is filled with fear that I am expecting something that will never be fulfilled.

Suddenly I heard the sound of the balcony gate opening and his heavy footsteps gradually became faster.  I felt that he was coming towards me and I did not want to come in front of him with a face full of tears so quickly I hide behind the couch on the balcony.
His steps were roaming in the balcony and he was talking on the phone.  But his voice started coming to me near the couch.  I bent down a little more.  But slowly my eyes fell on the anklets in my foot which I found was making a light noise from it.  In my haste I didn't think that perhaps he might have heard.  With some effort, I raised my head and saw  his back was visible sitting on couch still talking on his phone.  Or here I am hide behind him. Oh God, what did I do?

I will have to leave from here without even noticing it.  As soon as I got up from there, I felt a strong grip pull me towards him and without a second I sat in his lap.  I was holding my breath for so long.  I felt that both his hands were on my waist and my hands on his chest.  My head was bowed.  Because in the position we were in, I never thought that it would happen like this.  My eyes fluttered again and again.  The heartbeat was going on like a storm.  I could feel his hot breath on my face.  Slowly he pushed back the hair from my face.  And placed his hands under my chin and raised them up.  My eyes were still bent down. 
He said softly, “Maharani sa! Did you cry?.
I moved my head away from him and looked away.
I shooked my head cause don't want to show him my emotions. He slowly cupped my face in his both hands made me look at his eyes. Today his eyes were saying something else which I had seen for the first time. His eyes look into my soul with depth. His hand felt on my face increased the warmth of my cheeks. But Then the flashes of the girl holding Rana's hand run front of me.  I don't know why my heart felt like a prick.

I quickly got up from his lap and started going towards to exist the room. I don't want to express my feelings because life doesn't support me, I don't get it and I don't share my sorrow. And the last thing that why he behaves suddenly like a cared person..like I know that he wants to give chance to our marriage but the expectation he gives me with his small gesture, with his touch. Is it he wants or he doesn't love that girl.
Hsh! Shivanya you thinking too much.

Suddenly Pari called me from  behind. I quickly wiped my tears and turned towards her .
She said with a sad tone
" bhabhi ma  are you fine ? Means did you get hurt anywhere?"

" pari! Relax bache ...am fine ! See !" I said with a big smile. I know she afraid by the yesterday incident.

"Bhabhi ma ...lekin Triven ko bullet lagi hai" she said with trembling voice.

"What...! How is he ? Where is he ? I want to see him" I said by panicking and grab her wrist to take me to him. Pari slowly grabbed my shoulders and said