Against All Odds

Chapter 8

My arms burned as I pushed myself down the long hallway, Morgan by my side as we made our way to the physical therapy room.

It's gotten a little bit easier since I got my custom wheelchair but I'm still not entirely used to pushing all my body weight.

"What are we going to work on today?" I asked as we came up to the doorway.

"I'm going to teach you how to transfer from your chair to various surfaces." I nodded.

"Alright." She headed through the doorway and I followed her. She brushed through the waiting room before leading me over to the corner of the room full of differently sized mats.

She stopped, looking around until she spotted a purple mat, leading me over to it.

"Go ahead and push yourself right up next to it but angle your chair a little bit towards the mat." I followed her directions, stopping when I was positioned correctly, and looking back up at her for further instructions.

"Remember to lock your wheels." I leaned forward, locking both wheels before sitting back up.

"Okay, now I'm going to have you scoot yourself to the corner of your chair, right up on the edge." I placed both hands on my wheels, pushing down and scooting myself over toward the edge of the chair.

"There you go, now I want you to reach down and move your right foot off the footplate." I bent over, adjusting my right leg so that it rested on the ground before sitting back up again.

"Alright, now I want you to put one hand on the mat and the other on the cushion of your chair." I did as she said, feeling the hard plastic of the mat with one hand and the soft fabric of the cushion with the other.

"Good, now it's time for the hardest part. You're going use your shoulders and hands to push yourself up and over onto the mat." She bent down to spot me as I pushed down on my shoulders, lifting myself from my chair and over to the mat.

"Look at you! That was perfect Cameron." I smiled, the gap in my teeth showing as she adjusted my legs so that they dangled off the edge of the mat.

"Why don't you take a second and then I'll have you transfer back into your chair and we'll work on different heights." I nodded, running a hand through my mess of curls.

They've grown long enough to be a hassle as they constantly fall into my eyes.

I'll ask Dad to cut it for me. It'll probably just entail him shaving my head but honestly, I don't mind. I've heard that hair holds memories and so far all of the memories I've had since coming back from rehab haven't been good.

Maybe my mentor, Josh was right about the whole "fresh start" thing.

Or maybe he wasn't.

All I know is that this hair has witnessed death and I don't think I want to carry that with me, not anymore.

"Okay, ready to transfer back to your chair?" I took a deep breath before nodding.
"Yeah, let's do it."

My face dripped with sweat as I wheeled myself back to my room. We did transfer after transfer and now my shoulders ached, I'm sweating, and exhausted.

"Tired?" Dad asked, already waiting for me in my room as I nodded.

"Yeah, I need to shower though." He nodded.

"I can call a nurse in." I shook my head.

"I'll be okay." He hesitated for a moment before slowly nodding.

"Okay." I wheeled over to the pile of clothes in the corner of the room, grabbing clean ones before heading to the bathroom.

After wrestling out of my clothes and transferring over to the shower chair without falling, I finally turned the water on, allowing the cool water to flow down my body.

I closed my eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath before beginning to shower off.

I'm still not quite used to having to sit down to shower now that my legs are useless. The fact that I can do it by myself now definitely helps though. It lessens the awkwardness of having a complete stranger help you in and out of the shower, all while being completely exposed.
I know they're probably used to it by now, but I sure as hell wasn't.

Eventually, I turned off the water, grabbing a towel before transferring back into my chair. As I dried off I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, stopping in my tracks.

I hadn't taken a good look at myself in about a month. My hair had grown significantly, long enough to where it curled behind my ears. My brown eyes looked dull and heavy, dark circles looming underneath them.

I think the hardest part to take in was the state of my body. I'd lost a bunch of weight and I just looked scrawny now.

And weak.

The only part of my body that looked decent was my arms. I guess all of the pushing myself around had paid off.

I looked at myself in the small mirror for what felt like decades, just overanalyzing every part of me before a soft knock on the bathroom door finally snapped me out of it.

"Cameron, you doing okay in there?" Dad questioned, his voice slightly muffled through the door as I pushed backward, grabbing my clothes from their spot on the bench.

"Yeah, I'm just getting dressed." I slipped a gray hoodie over my head before beginning to work on wrestling with my sweatpants.

I tugged them up and over my useless legs as far as they'll go before beginning the awkward process of shifting back and forth, pulling them up completely.

Finally, I pushed open the door, wheeling back out into the room where Dad paced back and forth around the room.

He finally stopped when he heard the sound of my wheels squeaking against the linoleum floor.

"You good?" I frowned, wheeling over to bed as he nodded, letting out a breath.

"Yeah, just some bullshit going on at work." I nodded, grabbing the remote and lowering my bed.

I wonder how much work he's missed trying to deal with all my shit.

He walked over to my side, ready to help me get into bed but I waved him off.

"I've got it." He frowned before giving me a hesitant nod.

I locked my wheels, taking a deep breath before transferring just like I'd been practicing, a smile overtaking my face once I realized I'd made it successfully.

"When did you learn that?" He asked, shocked as I adjusted my legs, picking them up and moving them so they stretched out in front of me.

"Just today." I leaned back against the pillows as he patted my shoulder, his brown eyes shining.

"I know I don't tell you this enough but I'm proud of you Cameron. I may not be the biggest fan of the decisions you made that got you here, but I am proud of how hard you've been working." I nodded as he tucked me in, pulling the sheet over my legs.

"Thanks, Dad." He nodded before sitting down in the chair beside my bed.

"Hey, if you're planning on visiting tomorrow could you do me a favor?" His eyebrows knitted together.

"What is it?"

"Can you bring a pair of clippers? My hair's been pissing me off." He nodded, running a hand through his hair.

"Yeah, but you know I'm not a hairdresser or anything Cameron. The only thing I know how to do is a buzzcut."

"I know." He sighed.

"Alright, but I don't want to hear you bitching to me afterward because you don't like it." I chuckled, shaking my head.

"I won't, I promise."