The Broken and the Rogue ✓

Ch. 18: Sweet revenge

The last few weeks sucked all my energy, I felt more like a zombie than a werewolf. And the worst part was that I couldn't go unnoticed anymore.

The gazes followed me no matter where I was in the mansion. It was like being a celebrity but without the glamour.

Zaziel stopped trying to hide our relationship, making me the new hot topic among the rogues. It's not that I was angry with his decision, after all we had made it together, but it turned out that I wasn't prepared for the kind of attention it would attract to me.

One more conversation about the weather and I was going to explode. With so many things to do inside the mansion, why were they wasting their time trying to engage in meaningless chats with me? Zaziel told me that I could ignore them if I wanted. As if it were so easy to ignore ninety percent of the mansion's residents.

He should have tried to go to the training room without being intercepted by the curious mob.

The more I interacted with the members, the more I doubted if I was the best option to be Zaziel's mate. As the alpha of the group, he generated a level of admiration from the rogues that I had never seen before. And then there was me, trying to escape from them.

No matter from what angle I analyzed the situation, I was not up to the task of taking the place of Zaziel's mate. What was I going to do if he decided to make me his Luna?

I couldn't even maintain the connection to my wolf. It was lost at the beginning of that week, three days had already passed since the last time I had heard my wolf, and I didn't know what to do to solve it.

The absence of my wolf came along with episodes of searing pain. It was debilitating to feel so exhausted all the time and having to pretend everything was fine to not scare the people around me.

"What the fuck is happening to me?" I asked Xara, throwing myself onto one of the empty infirmary beds.

"I don't think you're going to like my answer." She sat next to me.

"But you didn't even check me." I raised an eyebrow.

"There's no need for me to check you, the answer is very obvious, so I can't believe you haven't realized it yet."

"I like to pretend I'm stupid to give you a job, I know you'd be bored otherwise," I told her, putting my hands in my pockets. "Are you going to tell me what it is or are we going to play a guessing game?"

"It's the mate bond. From what you told me and from what I saw, you and Zaziel are closer than ever, and yet, you still haven't sealed the mate bond. Your wolf is taking it as if you had rejected the bond."

"That doesn't make sense, we're closer, why is that a sign that I'm rejecting the bond?"

Xara sighed. "The closer you are, the greater the desire of the wolves to consummate the bond. You are giving her signals that you have already accepted Zaziel as your mate but at the same time you are not taking the last step, which only adds more tension for your wolf side "

"But it's a delicate issue, she should understand that, I can't take my decision as if it weighed nothing." I started playing with my fingers. "I thought that as my wolf she would understand my feelings."

Xara took my hands and looked me straight in the eyes.

Oh no. I thought. She must have been about to tell me something I wasn't going to like.

"That is exactly the point. Your wolf knows your true desires, most times they know even what we try to deny to ourselves. If she is suffering because the bond is not sealed yet that is because you also want to consummate it. She is letting you know that you are harming yourself by not accepting your true feelings."