Part of being a human being is to search for the answer to the question: “Who am I?” The answer is not easy to find for most, but usually when you are a teenager you start to realize who you truly are. Everyone is different and unique in their own special way, kind of like DNA. There are many situations, some that you may not notice, that help shape the person you are. It took me a while, but during my senior year of high school I started to develop my true self. The steps I took towards finding my self-identity were appreciating my family background, dealing with events that have occurred in my life, and entering college.
Everyone has a family background but not everyone’s defines them. My family background means a lot to me and helped me find my self- identity. My dad was born and raised in Italy which means I was born into an Italian family. My middle name, Sira, was named after my grandmother. Unfortunately, about a year ago my grandmother passed away at the age of 90 from a heart attack. My parents took a vacation to Florida to visit her and she ended up passing away the second day of their visit. I was very close with my grandmother, so sharing the same name as her means a lot to me. My middle name defines me as being a part of a loving family. According to the article, Be Specific, by Natalie Goldberg, everything has a name and we should give things the “dignity” of their names. My full name defines my Italian background and represents my family. My family background does make up my self- identity which is the good part, but there is also a bad side of my family that plays a role also.
Life is not always smooth sailing. There will always be bumps along the way. My life has taught me a lot the past 19 years, but I had to learn the hard way. About six years ago, my cousin got addicted to drugs when she was only 16. It was not just marijuana, but heroine and pills. She eventually over dosed in a parking lot, but thankfully survived. She has been in and out of rehab and still has not learned from her mistakes. This past summer, she got pregnant. Having a baby is one the most amazing things that could happen to a woman. Unfortunately, even having a baby did not stop her from doing drugs. In the article, “Addiction Doesn’t Discriminate”the author, Sally Satel, says that people who chose to do drugs have little to “lose” and are “willing” to lie to a spouse. My cousin did not appreciate her life and would lie to anyone. She just did not care about anything but drugs. Even though she did not appreciate everything she had, it made me appreciate my life. It was really hard to watch this happen to someone I love but it taught me a life lesson.
My cousin was someone I always looked up to. I used to always follow her around at family parties, but little did I know what was going on behind closed doors. When she first started doing drugs I was about 13, so I did not really notice what was going on. Once I got older my mom explained everything to me. I was very disappointed and could not believe it. Seeing all of this go on for the past five or six years taught me who I did not want to be. She is one of the reasons I will never touch any kind of drug. I could not imagine putting my family through that pain or even throwing my life down the drain. I have a good head on my shoulders and going to college is another step in the right direction for me.
Another step that I took to find who I truly am was going to college. During high school I had no idea who I wanted to be, and I had trouble being independent. I was always relying on my parents. Once I entered college, I was forced to become independent. I did not have teachers babying me and making sure I did my work. I was on my own and had to learn how to adjust to the college life. This made me an adult and gave me a glance of the real world. It was a step towards fully growing up. Although, it was a tough adjustment, it brought me a step closer to finding my self-identity.
Discovering your self-identity will you make you much happier with yourself. It did take me a lot of steps to figure out my true self, but it had to be done at some point. My family background, such as being named after my grandmother, was one of the first things that make up my self-identity since I had the name from the moment I was born. The bad in life teaches us many lessons and watching my cousin suffer from addiction made me realize who I really wanted to be. The last step towards my self- identity was entering college and realizing it was time for me to be an adult. Those are the steps I have taken so far and I am sure that there are many more things that will occur in my life that will help build my self-identity.
