Sooooo
Apparently everyone that I was close to or am have a chapter in here
Just wanted to wish an idiotic Baka Kid a very happy birthday and since I wanted to do something different for him.... I have decided to do this
Pretending to write a letter that he would never read
Which again might be true cause well
He doesn't read this book
So hey baka kid,
I have no clue how our bond- wait nvm
It was Through Ava you followed me and idk how we began talking but we did and boy we go-
Oh right
I must have said thanks for the follow and we might have again started bickering on who is more annoying and the fact that I couldn't be annoyed by you then.
You're still a kid for me you know
The little brother I made, who would constantly compete with me over anything and everything and bicker with me and how I would absolutely slay him with my replies cause sweetie rapunzel, how's your frying pan?
It used to be fun with just the two of us you know
Sure we talked about your crush from time to time but it wasn't always the conversation topic. I feel we have drifted from how we used to be to an entire different way that honestly isn't us. Calling you the name "bk" had a personal feeling to it..... and now it's just something I used to call, a word with memories attached.
I guess it was my unavailability by your side and my hiatus. I guess it was how I promise I'll be there but I always become busy. And i guess it was how you always avoided answering my questions and ignored them as if I never asked them. How you would vanish on purpose without any reason. Like please, I know a gtg when I see one. When it's genuine I tell you to stop apologising but honestly, doesn't feel like that anymore
It doesn't feel like "we" anymore
It feels like we are different really. Not how we used to be
And I'm the one at fault for stopping to try to bring it back. You tried but I was going through something unforgettable that I couldn't share with you and I was away. And now it's just reels and poker face. But you're also had a role, the vanishing on important questions, only to not answer them when you're back. How our talks was just about your crush, not about you. You used reels to tell me how you feel but I wanted your own words than them.
What have we left in our bond....how come it feels so hollow..... I m trying to heal and you're trying your best
Life happens and I know
But bk
I never call anyone my little bro just like that. I care for you, I genuinely do. You can ask my bf how much of that is true and how he and I even fought once cause of a topic regarding you. I loved the little brother I made.......but rn I see someone I don't know, a hologram or smth I just don't recognise. It's seems real but it really doesn't feel like that. It's weird.... Maybe it's cause you're not the way you feel on the inside with me? Or it's the way how you're growing and struggling and trying to always show a "I'm dumb and smiley depressed kid" to me.... It's not who you are bk. I mean you're dumb yeah but still. You have grown from the last time we actually talked.... But you also took a lot steps back. You're not mature but you have experienced things that I haven't. There is a certain different vibe around you, someone who isn't in the crowd- not too far and not too close. Like in those cards,Someone who is smiling but the moment you slightly move the card, that someone is crying with their palm on their eyes to wipe their tears.
Baka kid
I don't know how to be there for you at all
I care for you a lot little bro
I want our bond back
Really
Our bond...where we talk about ourselves and not others. It was so much better that way, don't you think?
Youre growing up now
You're 16
You're supposed to be on the path of transformation of "not being a kid" anymore....
Tell me
Is there no way we can go back to the way it was?
Ofc I didn't put any efforts into making it come back.... I'll put them when I'm ready
Sounds so selfish right?
When I'm ready, I'll put efforts
I'm sorry
I never put efforts into myself And you don't know a lot about me
It's weird how there is one character in my life who perhaps is the only reader who in a way, made me show the invisible inked pages to him and only him. So my bf knows more than anyone about me.... More than me at times but yeah that's gonna change 😤
Tbh I would like to meet you irl and spend time with you. Maybe that would bring back what we used to be, atleast the very essence of it...we being we with each other and not a fake part that we build up....dont you think..?
You're not weak baka kid
You're making your self weak
You tend to go with the world and would do anything to yourself to be accepted by it....
That's how the worse of the worse villains are made
Because the world is never too fond of any single person. It likes what it can't get and it doesn't want what's available to it readily. It would compare what it can't get, with you constantly
Seriously
Baka kid
I miss you
Love
Your dwarf didi
P.s
I would fight a lot of people for you, after beating the living crab out of yourself
I care for you that much so yeah. One day was all it took for me to break my self inflicted rules to call you
Because more than boyfriend, bestfriend means a lot to me. But guess who I am the most protective of? Brother mean a whole different league to me.
You're family baka kid
You are
Even as this
You're a part of my family that I chose
And I chose you to be my little brother
I still do ❣️
Happy 16th birthday Baka kid
