All i need

Prologue

The Never Ending Cycle 

By Molly-Mae Dunn

Chapter  53

-To Evelyn

I could never understand why mother always kept things from me, and she could never explain why she kept them either. I would ask her why she fell in love with my father,out of all people. Everytime i asked, she would never explain why or how. But to be honest, I don't think she could even if she wanted to. One day, she and my dad were having an argument. A really bad one. I'll spare you the details of the fight but to put it short,it ended with a gun pointed at my head, held by my own father.

We ended up on a plane headed straight to New York City that night. Within about a month, We had moved into a new apartment. My mom got a new job and I was enrolled into a new school. Things were really tough that year. Mom always got phone calls non-stop. I could always tell it was dad. Pleading, threatening, harassing, and begging to mom on the other end.

She assumed I couldn't hear their conversations because I was in the other room, but I heard it all. I would end up crying myself to sleep every night, in hopes something would change. I would catch myself wishing that we'll be a happy family again. But of course that was never going to happen. My dad almost shot me for god's sake! I know all mom wanted to do was protect me. Keep me from that horrid place she had lived in for most of her life, Allowing me to live a happy, and care free one. But nothing ever goes according to plan when it comes to my mother. I ended up in therapy, ongoing until I turned 17. I don't think therapy helped me as much as everyone else thought. I seemed fine but in reality, I wished father would have pulled the trigger. I felt that life isn't worth living.

Once the new year of school started and I met you, everything changed. Spending time together was like finding your favorite song for the first time. You just want to play it over and over again until your eardrums burst from the immense pressure. The way you walked helped me understand the worth of each step. The way you talked taught me the importance of hearing each breath I took. The way you healed my soul as we danced in the sheets together, your eyes glowing with lust and pleasure in the moonlight. Your hair fell perfectly on your shoulders once we laid side by side. My heart would pump out of my chest everytime I laid my eyes on you. Our love, It was beautiful. You were beautiful.

Once you fell ill and left me, my life shattered. I couldn't function. More than a part of me was missing. My soul was gone. My soul IS gone. Only one thing to do with this soulless body of mine. The wind feels nice in my free hair. I took it out of the bun for you my love, just how you always liked it. On this perfect day, I say my goodbyes to those who stayed, and those who left. Time to hold your hand again. Smell your scent. Breathe your air. I'll love you forever, my love. My Home, My life, My all.

- Mel.