The heart Chakra is about love, kindness and compassion for yourself and others. When in balance your presenting traits are like those seen in someone with a secure attachment style.
I had a conversation that left me feeling a lot of self doubt and withdrawn.
When you choose yourself and you are fierce about it even in your silence, it gets so lonely. You may find yourself talking to someone who feels or seems safe. Then they will attack you. You are the problem, that's what they see and strongly believe. You may even say you just needed someone to talk to and they will say it's your fault for being lonely because you cut everyone off. That's similar to what happened to me.
Am I really a bad person? Am I worse than the people I distanced myself from? Am I becoming the very thing I swore never to be? Those were the questions I had but then a silent voice reminded me the words of Godis, "learn to leave people exactly where they misconstrued you".
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That kind of stopped my spiraling. I then talked to a friend and their words were "do not forget the progress you have made". That also helped me come back to myself, remember myself.
I've learnt the hard way what happens when you don't leave people exactly where they had you misconstrued. You will start defending yourself and proving yourself. In doing so you start forgetting who you are and even feeling bad about yourself. You are defending yourself before people who have decided that they do not want to know what the roadmap to who you are is. They have a conclusion and that's that. The conclusion is that you are bad.
Even if you are dying, you've been chewed and spat out. You have been robbed of everything including your dignity. You have been left high and dry. Your limbs are hanging onto near nothing as you have been severed. They will look at you and say with the strongest conviction that you even start to doubt whether you are really the victim or the boy who cried wolf. I know, because I've been there and what that did was destroy all the progress I had made. All the years, months,weeks, days, hours,tears and fights + flights. All that progress just got destroyed.
Sometimes you love people who claim to love you, but it's all claims. So that's why you keep them around. You don't want to hurt them at all. We tend to go around life protecting everyone but ourselves. Maybe we should start protecting ourselves. Maybe I should stay firm in protecting myself even if me protecting me serves to keep revealing and removing like Godis said: "Spirit keep revealing and removing"
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I really don't know how it ends but I hope it's a happy ending. After all, the journey is more important than the destination and I did not come this far just to come this far.
A blocked heart Chakra tends to present as traits seen in avoidant attachment styles and an imbalanced heart chakra tends to present as traits seen in anxious attachment styles.
