A Sweeter Poison

chapter 24: oneirataxia

Song: Wake Up In The Sky by Gucci Mane, Bruno Mars, Kodak Black

Oneirataxia (n.) ; the inability to distinguish between fantasy and reality

Someone superficial in an attempt to be profound may say that happiness is an illusion. Unfortunately for them, their stupidity is not. Happiness is all around all the time. The world is a very beautiful place. The mere existence of colour should make you smile. The ability for an object to contain such a vast amount of hues should be exhilarating. Perhaps that is why when you are getting to know someone, you ask their favourite colour. It is something so simply gorgeous that anyone can talk about it. A cinematographer might choose to represent his saddest scene in a movie in black and white. Lacking vibrancy and character. Lacking colour? No. We are simply too artificial to see the deeper colour. There is a reason white and black give such deep meaning. They are able to represent those emotions we ourselves find it hard to express. They are so much more than we can imagine. We have labelled 'white' as blank, when in reality it is far too spectacular for us to see. We are so focused on the pessimistic perspective that we can't take a step back and admire the rainbow. No. We simply call it 'empty'.

My world was white. Flooding me with colour from every angle that it all became such a blur. It was the happiest I had been in a long while.

I couldn't help but grin around at the breakfast table, watching everyone chatter. Abuela had stayed the night and was talking to Rafael and Arlo. Somehow I couldn't believe it had been nine days ago that I had first arrived here. It felt like years ago.

"No breakfast?" Daniel asked from beside me, "Most important meal of the day you know,"

I smiled back at him naturally, "I had an apple earlier, don't worry,"

He nodded, and winked at me then turned back to his computer. I caught sight of the email on his screen, which read 'El Monte is down, that makes three in the past few weeks'

I frowned. Three? I couldn't help but be curious as to the meaning behind it but was quickly distracted by a shrill voice beside me.

"Help me upstairs sweetie," Abuela demanded from beside me. I looked down at her, amused by the fact she was a good head shorter than me.

"Sure," I said, offering her my arm. She gripped onto it a little, hard digging her nails into my skin. I bit back a hiss and rolled my eyes at Arlo who was laughing at me as I left. I slapped him over the head and winked at him as I passed. He scowled after me, rubbing his head, sticking his tongue out.

Laughing, I turned back to Abuela, who seemed to be chatting away about some kind of restaurant or other which had personally wronged her. I nodded every so often, murmuring in agreement every time she paused for breath, and instead letting my mind wonder.

Eventually, as I had helped her back to her room, she stopped talking very suddenly, and grabbed my arm before I turned to leave. "Listen, Maya," she said sternly, "I covered for you yesterday but I will not again. I hope you have learnt your lesson. There is no need to be so secretive. You may be protective of yourself, but that does not mean you should be afraid to tell your brothers about your needs, especially if you then resort to stealing drugs from a pharmacy. Marco will help you if you tell him what you need. I know you lot have a wonderful doctor - Doctor Watkins... Wilkins... goodness knows what the damn woman's name is but she can sort you out with a prescription. In the meantime, I never want to hear of you doing that sort of thing again, understand me?"