Love Finds You. (In the flesh fanfic)

Chapter 1

I wake up to the sound of my alarm : sharp and loud, giving me the migraine I desperately try to avoid. But today nothing can dampen my spirits! After getting ready, I hop down the stairs and give my mom a cheerful kiss before sitting down on the table between dad and Jem.

"Heyyyy!" Says Jem. "Don't YOU look cheerful."

"Well it's not everyday you get to fulfill your dream" I reply as casually as I can. And as if heavens sensed what I wanted, it took everyone a few seconds to realize what I had said.

Their questioning gazes were hard to ignore but I resisted the urge to spill it all out and carefully chewed on my omelet. I had told Rick last night and he had been ecstatic! They would be too!

"Well. Tell us!!" my dad said, nudging me with his elbow.

"I got an offer! The NASA scientists read my thesis related to astrophysics and they want me on their team to visit a newly discovered planet, HABITABLE PLANET, for information if I can pass a test which I know I can!" And all of a sudden I can't stop talking. I had practiced over and over again in order to make sure I didn't get too excited but here I am, talking non stop, trying to make them join my enthusiasm. "They say if they like my work during the expedition, they might even offer me a job in NASA! Can you BELIEVE it?!"

"No" my father says quietly. "I KNOW!! Neither can I!" I reply. But it doesn't take me long to catch on. I register the look on his face. The same face he had when he told me I couldn't follow my dream as an artist. The one which says 'that's the end of discussion'.

"What do u mean no?!! This is everything I have worked for!" NOT this time, I think furiously. I will NOT let him take my dream away again! "Mum! Tell him!"

She just bites down on her lip and says "I think it's for your best". And then Jem speaks up,as if she can't bear it any longer. "Exactly WHAT do you mean by that?! You guys made him give up his last dream, now you wanna take this one away too?! What is he? A 'change your dream at will' guy? It his passion! I have seen him stay awake at nights working on his thesis! You can't do this to him!"

"Forget it Jem" I say quietly before walking out the door. My head is spinning. The pain of migraine and the questions buzzing in my head? Not a great combination. And all of a sudden I start jogging and before I know it I'm sprinting. Without a single thought of where I am going or what I need to do I run,breathless. The muscles in my legs aching, screaming for rest, but I keep running until I realize where I am - Our safe haven - Rick and Mine : The cave.

I sit there, breathing in and out for about ten minutes before I realize that Rick is sitting beside me. But his expressions are not sad or sympathetic - they are guilty. And I know what he's about to say when he opens his mouth.

"I'm leaving Ren. It's hard enough to earn my father's approval without me being gay. I don't know what I'll do if he finds out I AM gay".

"And what? You think you PRETENDING to be straight will make him love you? No he won't! He will never love you for who you are!" I am done with sweet talking. Not when I am hurting so bad myself!

"I leave for Afghanistan tomorrow. I got selected into Army. Goodbye Kieren" my full name hits me like a slap on my face. Pain fills me. He NEVER calls me that. From the day I introduced myself, he gave me the nick name Ren. Him using my full name makes me realize I have lost him forever.

"GET OUT!!" I yell. "I SAID GET OUT! " And he does. I pick up a rock and cut off his name from the cave wall madly. I throw the rock away and collapse to the uneven ground. Pulling my hair strands into my clenched fists, letting anguish fill me up, embracing it before the dam of tears bursts. I think of every memory with him. Every time I would go into depression and he would bring me here, an escapism from harsh reality. Every time he made me laugh, every kiss we shared right here where i now lie alone.

I don't know for how long I stay there, curled up in a ball, weeping. Weeping for my butchered dream, my shattered heart and soul. KNOWING I can't live with it. And then I pick up the same stone with which I cut off his name and do what I need to do. To relieve myself of the pain and misery. The pain is excruciating but like a subtle pinch compared to the blazing fire in my heart. And I feel myself drifting away with the feel of liquid around me. Drifting away before I can say what's on my mind....

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This is it guys!! The first chapter! Hope you like it. :D Please comment and tell me about it! What you think of it....I really need some motivation cause I feel like I might not do the show justice with my writing. The show is absolutely touching. I'll update it soon.
-Zoyi.