Love Finds You. (In the flesh fanfic)

Chapter 2.

I wake up to beeping sounds of machines. Wait what? Machines? Aren't I dead?

When I slowly open my eyes, I find myself in a hospital room, with all
sorts of tubes connected to me. Jem is sleeping next to me in a chair, her head on my hand clasped in hers. She's clutching it tight as if she lets go, I will disappear. I feel a surge of guilt.

Slowly, I raise myself up into a sitting position. I look around the room, it's all white just like hospitals are. My wrist is covered in bandages, the same wrist I notice, which Jem is holding on to. My movement wakes her up.

She looks at me. Her eyes carry so many emotions : hurt, anger, anguish, relief and love.

And then it all changes. Her hand suddenly swings around and she slaps me hard across my cheek. She slaps again and again, slapping and punching until she's exhausted with tears streaking down her cheeks.

She glances up at me and she starts to scream. "DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN! WE THOUGHT WE LOST YOU! OH MY GOD KIER! WHAT WERE YOU THINKIN'? WHAT WERE WE GONNA DO WITHOUT YOU?!"

And then her hands are wrapped around me. I am dumbstruck. I hug her back but her sobbing doesn't stop.

The door swings open and Mum Dad enter with confused looks on their faces. They look at me and stop dead in their tracks. The dark circles under their eyes show how worried they were, that they didn't sleep.

I have no idea how to start the conversation. Jem has pulled away from me but she still holds my hand. We are all there, waiting in an awkward silence.

After clearing my throat I try to find my voice. "How- how long have I been.....out?" I ask in a hoarse voice.

"2 days son. We thought you weren't gonna wake up. The doc thought so too." My father replies.

"When can I....leave the hospital?" I ask, carefully implying that they don't HAVE to take me home after the stunt I pulled. Of course, my mother notices my hesitant tone and she speaks up for the first time. "We can go home in about 2 hours. The doctors have to check up on you first."

"Kay." I reply.

I sit quietly while the doctor checks up on me.

"You are lucky to be alive and you have a family that really loves you" the doctor says when we are alone. "Don't put them through this again, they can't take it. I know it's not my place to say this but they care about you. Whatever you're going through, share it. I was the one who saw them weep by your bedside and pray with their hands clasped together, the one who saw them starve themselves for 2 days cause they wouldn't want to leave you alone." With that he leaves.

I stare at his back as he leaves and my family enters the room.

"We can go home!" My mum announces with a fake cheerfulness.
The drive home is silent. No one talks and its clear that no one wants to be talked to.

Dad pulls up in our garage. We hang our coats as we enter and go to the living room. Mom goes to kitchen and asks me to come and help her out.

"Why Kier?" Mum asks, her voice slightly shaky. I see the pained expression on her face, the fear of her almost loss.

"It was too much for me." I reply. "To much to cope with. I couldn't let go of my dream. And I was being forced to. And then I lost the one person who could have pulled me through it : Rick."

"Yeah I heard Rick was leaving for Afghanistan." Mum says. "NO!" I scream with tears in my eyes - all the pain, all the loss came rushing back. "HE LEFT ME! BROKE UP WITH ME!" I fall down to the floor as silent sobs rack my body. "He left me..." I sob.

Suddenly there are three pairs of arms around me. I look up to see my family on their knees around me. Weeping with me, sharing my pain. My sobs turn into an ugly weeping but I don't care. And neither do they. They don't have pity in their eyes like normal people would ,they have real sorrow - my sorrow.

After what seems like hours I finally stop. I look up at them. They finally open up and let their emotions out. They scream at me for hours.

"I was lost." I whisper brokenly. "I AM lost!"

"THEN TELL US!" My mom says. "Tell us! And we'd find you. But don't leave us. We can't take it Kier. Your life is easy for you to throw away, but you are not easy to let go of, for us! You ARE our son! We need you."

I look up at them. They care more than hundreds of Ricks would. Then why did I care for them less than I cared for even one Rick? How could I leave them all and cause them one of the worst miseries while they've always given me love? Cause I lost Rick? Rick who was too scared to accept who he was?

"I am sorry. I am so sorry!" I keep repeating it like chant while I hug them.

We get up and sit on the dining table to eat.

I go to sleep with the loss of Rick as a dull ache in my heart. A mere scratch now compared to the gash I felt on my heart.

________________________

Hope you liked it :) I tried to write better this time.

- Zoyi