Baldur's Gate 3: Comfy Mode

That one scene in Suite Life of Zack and Cody

[Author's Note: Seven is my own character in Baldur's Gate III--Tav. He is a high half-elf and has pink windblown hair. He is a cleric of Selune and Shadowheart is a cleric of Shar. The dialogue is based off of an old Suite Life of Zack and Cody episode. This is alternate universe where Tav never met Shadowheart on the nautiloid and never found her after the crash.]

Halsin adopted Seven into the grove after Seven escaping from a mind flayer nautiloid. One day in the grove, Halsin told him about this beautiful maiden who said she's looking for a companion to take her to Baldur's Gate. 

Seven asked disinterested, "Oh, so, you're going on another adventure with another maiden? Well, good luck to you then."

Halsin frowned. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." Halsin sat down in front of him and explained, "When I offered my company, she seemed flattered at first but told me she wanted to get to know me more."

Seven waited for there to be more. But the silence lingered longer than he expected. "And what's the problem?"

"That."

"... Knowing you more ... is the problem?"

Halsin nodded.

Seven felt a headache initate deep in his forehead. "I ... I don't see that as a problem unless you mean you don't know how to talk about yourself." Halsin quickly nodded. Seven rubbed his face to give him some time to think. "Well... How about I use a telepathy spell and help you talk to this girl?"

Halsin beamed with a large smile. "Thank you, my friend! She has a witty tongue. I feel a loss of words when I look her in the eyes."

Seven sighed. "Well, I'll use all my charisma to help you out, Halsin."

Later on that night, Seven hid behind a tree as he spied on the date between Halsin and Shadowheart. It was hard to see them from far away but he could tell by her figure she was Halsin's type. Short, slim frame. Someone he could easily carry. Seven activated the telepathy spell and was able to speak to Halsin clearly using only his thoughts. "Okay, Halsin. I am right here. Just be yourself and I will be your crutch."

Shadowheart asked Halsin, "Is it always quiet out here in the woods?"

Halsin sweated like a pig standing next to Shadowheart. He was a lost for words when he stared into her green eyes.

Annoyed, Seven said, "Just say 'Yes', Halsin."

Halsin grinned, "Yes, Halsin."

Seven slapped his forehead slightly with his palm. His headache was getting worse.

Shadowheart raised an eyebrow, "Pardon?"

Halsin panicked and dropped the subject, "Oh, nevermind."

Shadowheart tried, "So, what's your class?"

Halsin answered honestly, "I do not go by civilian hierarchy. I am very humbled with the richest of the wilderness."

Seven cringed and explained, "No! The other kind of class! Say it was a joke and tell her you're a druid."

Halsin blushed and stammered, "I only jest. I am a druid."

Shadowheart giggled. "Funny. I should have figured by how you have leaves and vines on your attire. But your build made me assume you were barbarian class. Care to guess what I am?"

Halsin rolled a critical miss on Insight.

Halsin gasped, "Oh, I would rather you just tell me." He paused, then shouted, "STUPID!"

Shadowheart stepped back and glared at him. She noticed he was confused and gave the oaf some mercy and allowed him to explain himself, "Excuse you?"

Seven explained, "I wasn't talking about her! I was talking about you! She wants to have a bit of fun by having you guess. Ask her for her a hint like her top 5 spells."