His To Save

50) Alie

"Do you have no shame at all?" Jack questions taking a step away from Pattie.
How could they?
Pattie has a boyfriend and yet she's being flirtatious with Jack, or worse.

I continue watching, my heart thumping with the tension rising. Seeing them so intimate makes me feel deeply upset for reasons I cannot understand. A strong pressure forms in my chest, pounding the walls mercilessly till I'm left breathless. I feel as if life may desert me any moment from watching such a sight. Maybe I'm mad at them for playing sweet Paul, or I'm jealous because of my unclear feelings for Jack.

"Annie?" Paul calls out. The sound of his heavy footsteps coming from a distance away at the stairs has me whip my head back, before darting away from the door. I cannot let him see such a betrayal. It can shatter any heart, even a cold heart.

I dash away from the door and rush along the hallway to obstruct Paul from coming this way. I almost bump into him, but he saves the day cupping my shoulders and offering me stability.
"Annie? Why do you look-"

"Phew! It's so stuffy in here. Can we go out now?"

Paul chuckles, his hands pulling the heavy jacket I wear up to cover any gap. His eyes smile as well, an assuring and care-filled smile. Such a tender gaze. Such a gentleman. Why would Pattie mess up?

"Come on." With this, Paul leads me down the stairs, a hand on my back.

---------------------

Our time outside is spent walking on the snow-blanketed pathways, chatting about the cold weather and little irrelevant things. Before long, I completely forget about the Pattie-Jack incident and immerse myself in Paul's witty nature.
I indirectly try to fish out information about myself but Paul keeps dodging the questions. Though he does admit that he and I were close friends. Very close friends.

I do not probe too much about us as my relationship with Jack.

"That...um... it's complicated."

I frown, puffing out clouds of hot air through my nostrils. "How so?"

"You...you...um...is this necessary?"

I suddenly halt and face Paul. Pulling on a pitiful look, I take his right hand and hold it close to my face to plead, "Please, please. If we were really close, help me out. I'm feeling so confused about a lot of things."

Paul chuckles and brings his other hand to rest in on mine. "Okay then. But don't let your emotions loose. Remember you are still sick."
I give a frantic nod, thrilled that I'm about to learn the truth.

Paul sighs sadly, the warm gleam fading from his eyes. "You, you liked him but...he turned you down."
His words slash my heart in two pieces. My hands fall from his and I turn around, a bitterness forming behind my eyes.
Is it shame? Anger? Jealousy?
How bold I had been to confess such a shameful thing to my stepdad and be rejected. What an embarrassing thing to discover from another man.

"Annie?"
"Huh?"

Paul lets out another sigh, one that is full of sympathy. No, I don't need his pity. It only makes me feel so much worse.
If Jack rejected me, then Pattie must have won from what I heard them conversing about. They've been intimate before. And she's the reason Jack turned me down.
What a dramatic family. Two sisters fell for their own guardian while there were countless other men out there.
Gosh!
So embarrassing the more I think of it.

"It's okay. You had already moved on. You accepted it and-" Paul turns me to himself gently, "-you found someone you liked."

"I...I did?"
Why do I feel as though his words do not resonate with the feelings in my heart?
"Then why did I keep living here?"

Paul cups my face and pulls me in for an embrace. There is a little warmth between us, but the cold air makes sure it steals it away. "Because I kept you company. You found peace and solace in me. You said you would tell me the person you liked when you were ready, unfortunately, whatever happened happened, and now I have no clue-" his hand on the back of my head pushes my head against his chest, "-about who this person you liked was."

I shut my eyes and snake my hands around his waist to draw comfort. Since waking up, I hadn't met any other man who was in constant communication with me except Jack. Could it be that I lied to Paul and never got over Jack?

---------------

I'm laughing heartily at some dad joke Paul made as we entered the house. After his revelation, I dropped the burden of liking Jack and decided to focus on making myself happy. He had comforted me to his limits, we played in the snow, made snow angels, and did other snow activities which helped me clear my mind.

My laugh is received by a cold pair of blue eyes. The owner sits in the lounge, his knee placed on his other, his back plastered on the chair, and his hands resting on the chair arms.
He wears a gray suit which adds to the seriousness of his expression, and the charm he possesses. Hard to believe that I had mustered the courage to confess my feelings to such a man.
No wonder he rejected me. I mean, why would I deserve the attention and intimate love of a man clearly out of my league?

His eyes hold a speck of unkindness. But it isn't directed at me, but rather the man walking behind me. Oh gawd! Is he furious about something his 'secret girlfriend' has told him about Paul? Or is he jealous of him for being the one to marry Pattie?

I ignore Jack and make my way towards the kitchen for some hot tea or coffee. My hands are freezing even with the gloves on.

"Come here!" An order rings out, and I feel my knees grow numb while my feet come to an instant stop.
I glance to the side at the seated male, stab my chest gently asking, "Me?"

"Who else would I be calling?"

My eyes shift back to Paul who now wears an ugly frown that is used to attack Jack. They must be beefing about Pattie.
Oh, poor me. Nobody wants me.

My feet change direction and begin walking toward Jack, but a hand suddenly grips my wrist. "She needs to take her medicine."

"I can do that."

"Aren't you busy, Mr...Shadows?"

Mr Shadows? I repeat in my head. Does Jack have a second surname?

His face contorts to a hard frown. He seems ready to pounce at Paul and beat him till his family fails to recognize his remains.
With an aura of supremacy, Jack rises from his seat, his hands sliding in his hip pockets effortlessly. His eyes hop on me, his body moving straight at me till he halts right in front of me.

"You can leave now, Paul. I'll handle Annie."
Jack utters the 'handle' with a strange tone. His eyes drop on Paul's hand on my wrist and darken a little. I observe the little jaw clench when Paul disobeys him.