My Ambitions

Trial 2: So Dull

I feel my head pressed against the soft pillows of my bed, as I wake up normally like nearly every morning, glancing at my messy bedroom, littered with the usual empty cans of soft drinks and crisps bags...

I've mentioned this before, how I'm almost eligible for a hikikomori lifestyle... Just look at my damn bedroom and you'll understand why at first glance. Of course, this doesn't mean I don't clean it up every once in a while. I always take care of it every few weeks or a month. And yeah, I do realize I'm not doing it as frequently to consider my bedroom "clean"...

Oh well. I decided it's about time to get out of bed, check my phone for the time, being 10:32 AM... Feels a bit too early than when I usually wake up, considering it's Saturday right now... Guess I'm gonna head off to the bathroom then get dressed afterwards.

Once I was at the bathroom, I cleaned my face with the tap water, before glancing at my own appearance at the mirror. It felt very dull looking at my same old tan-skinned face; slightly squinting, yet sharp, deep blue eyes; that vertical slit on my right eyebrow... Plus my same-old hairstyle with my bangs covering  part of my right eye... Girls say I kinda look cute. But personally I don't like waking up to look at my same old face minutes later... And I realize that I'm repeating myself again, aren't I.

Nevertheless, I finish up business in my bathroom and return to my room. I look at my closet and open it up to grab what I usually always wear, which I'm glad finished drying yesterday - red velvet jeans and a maroon colored shirt, decorated with a reticle-like symbol in a darker red positioned over the top-left side of the shirt; it's almost like the shirt symbolizes a sniper aiming down my heart, ready to shoot me down any moment. Pleasant.

I look behind the curtains of my window and glance over Tōkyō... Only to discover yet another dull feeling stirring inside me, with all the same buildings and the same apartments through the view of my window. My surroundings are getting... Too boring... I wanna see something new.

I sigh and decide to sit at my desk, where my laptop is placed - against that curtained window with that dull view. Upon starting up my laptop, I type in my password on the same screen I see upon launching my laptop for about the 10,000th time. Upon logging in, I wasn't even in the mood to look through the web too much, so I simply looked at a few things like my email and any notifications on sites I go to. Nothing really new...

I decided to just turn it off after checking my things quickly. It just felt too... dull.

Why does everything feel dull to me? I've been around here for as long as I remember, raised in this very apartment up to this day, after my parents died... Maybe I've finally fed up with living so long in the same place with the same scenery for so long...

... I decided to check the phone on my clock again, which turned out to be 11:00 AM... Already? Well, whatever. I decided to head out to town.

I head near the exit of my apartment, making sure I have my keys, wallet and phone with me, and put on my brown Winter boots. It may be Summer outside, but I just like the design of these boots. I guess I've grown accustomed to them. Yet... There's that dull vibe I get from looking at them...

I decided not to think about them too much as I went out and locked my apartment. I went out of the complex and head right, that's usually where the local store's located, so I decided I'd grab a can of cola or something on my trip.

Nothing new really occurred to me when I got to the store, I just took a can  of cola from the drink chiller there and paid up, then left. I was pondering where I should go next as I opened the can and took a few sips.

I ultimately decided to go to the train station to go to the larger portion of the city. "Shibuya... Now that's what I'm talking about!" I shouted to myself, already planning out where my stop is gonna be.

This is the kind of stuff that helps me take my thoughts away from the dull feelings I get looking at this place. I really wish I moved somewhere else... But that way, I'd be leaving Moriko-san behind... 

Anyways, I travel by train to another part of Tōkyō everyday. Usually to Shibuya-ku, it's practically the best place to go shopping with friends... But I actually enjoy going there by myself regardless. Not a lot of my own neighbors are my friends, they're mostly long-distance friends I met online.

Sometimes I get along with friends online even better than some people I know in real life. Especially Jin-kun, from Ōsaka. He's practically my best friend online.

I guess I've stayed here for long enough, I should head to the train station and finally head to Shibuya and chill for a while there. The trip's gonna last a while, so I guess I'll rest on the train for a while.