Nine days

Chapter 1 | Lily

Dear whoever reads this,

they say time heals all wounds...
they were wrong.

It's been exactly 5840 days and I'm still hurting.

Oh, maybe I should start this off with some more information than that, although I'm sure you are someone close to me, otherwise you wouldn't have found this book.

I'm Lily Heaven Reyes...and I live in fucking hell.

Not literally, but it feels like it. Which is quite ironic given my middle name.

However, whatever happens after death can't be much worse than this.

I'll sure be finding out soon enough.
Too bad I can't tell you about my experience with death then.

Anyway, this is my goodbye book, I suppose. So please, make sure to send the letters in this book to everyone mentioned. Or burn the whole book. It's not like I will ever find out if you did.

Is that enough of an introduction?

I only have two more weeks left. Well, that's as much of the time I grant myself.

I wouldn't know how much time on earth I have left. And I'm not here to find out. My life will end in two weeks because I decide to.

"Jesus, Lily!" A very angry Winter calls from my room door. She is interrupting my precious time writing my goodbyes.
If only I could be mad at her for it. Winter has been my best friend since freshman year of college. More or less a good one.

We happened to be roommates, and as fate takes us, we remained roommates up until senior year. Good thing now is though, we no longer share one room. We have separate ones, with one living space, a shared kitchen and one bathroom. It's not too bad.

Unfortunately, Winter is a self-centered person. She only cares about herself. And if she does "care" about someone else, it's only up until she can turn it all about herself again.

"Have you seriously been in bed all day?" she asks, staring at me with wide eyes. My room is dark since I never bothered to open the blinds. And I also never really bothered to get up to get dressed.

"I have." Not that it's any of her business. "Is that a problem?"

"You're twenty years old, a senior in college. You shouldn't spend all day, especially not all Friday lying in bed," she tells me. "We're going to the hockey game in an hour. Our school's team is playing against Yale!" Winter flips on my ceiling light, causing my eyes to squint close for a moment. Maybe it is darker than I had realized. "You look horrible, Lils."

"Gee, thanks, Winter."

When I manage to open my eyes, I am greeted by a pair of blue ones staring back at me. Winter is standing at the foot of my bed, her red hair curled perfectly into beach waves. She even put on makeup. Not that it surprises me. Winter is always ready to get out of the house. Well, or dorms for that matter.

"Please don't tell me you forgot." Her eyes are staring right into my soul. It's unbearable. Seriously, if Winter lays eyes on someone when she's mad, you'd wish you were dead. But then again, I do wish I was dead. Maybe that's why I don't mind it.

I think I can't judge Winter's eyes too much, I have always had some kind of hatred for blue eyes. It doesn't have a reason, I simply never really trusted blue-eyed people as much as I could trust brown-eyed ones. Perhaps it's because dark eyes are more interesting to me than lighter ones.

Darkness has always been in my life. It sort of makes sense that dark eyes seem more trustworthy to me when all I've known my whole life was the dark. The mystery it brings and, as weird as it sounds, it brings me comfort.