escapism

; for my person

My person,
I love my person,
I miss my person,
she was my person, and I was hers. before all of this, before the pandemic, before the whole quarantine thing, before my person and i became women, before we drifted away, before when we were as close as peas in a pod, we were inseparable. SHE was my person, I was her person. That was that, until I had to move into a completely different country. She's in our home country , while I was forced to move to far away. I'm selfish for wanting to stay in with her while my family drowns in debt. I never wanted to move, I've always dreamt of staying in my home country. I'm selfish for putting my feelings first, I am selfish. I miss my person. I'm no longer hers, and that's my fault. I feel like I was never there for her when she needed me. When I feel homesick, I read our past messages, I realized all I talked about was about my crushes and myself. It's my fault. My selfishness, my inability to communicate with her, my ignorance. Maybe if I asked her how she felt, how she's been, her health, her. I was blinded by my own greed, and now I regret it. I love my person, but I am the reason why I am no longer her person.

My person, I love you.
I always will, and I am sorry for being greedy, arrogant, and ignorant. I'm sorry for being how I was. I'm sorry for moving. I'm sorry for making you feel bad. I'm sorry.
apologizing to you may not be enough for the hell I put you through. I will apologize to you until the day I die because you, my person, deserve the world. You deserve everything. I would do anything for you to smile, to laugh, to be healthy, to be happy, even if it means I have to let you go. My best friend, my sister, my other half, my person.