In which Fred Weasley has seen many things but when he pulls a prank at night and gets a metal pole to the head, he finds himself obsessing over a girl.
FRED WEASLEY X OC
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Maggie sighs as she watches another student be sorted into their Hogwarts house. After your own sorting, it became quite boring to witness as Professor McGonagall rattles from the list of names.
"It's almost over," Fred says.
"Can't they just receive a personality quiz in the mail?" Maggie sighs.
"I think I'd have rather enjoyed that," Hermione nods. "Who is that?"
"Oh dear," Maggie sighs. "That is Delores Umbridge"
"As in the one from Harry's trial?"
"The very same," Maggie nods.
"I can see what Harry means," Fred mutters. "She's hideous. I'm surprised you didn't have nightmares as a child because of her"
"I had bigger trauma-induced nightmares than an ugly bitch," Maggie replies.
All eyes are on Dumbledore as he gets to his feet to give his annual address of welcome to the students of Hogwarts, returning and new. A high-pitched cough interrupts the headmaster but Dumbledore ignores it, continuing in his speech. Another loud cough draws the attention of all of the room.
"Look at McGonagall's face!" Lee hisses. "She looks fuming"
"Because Minnie has a radar for knobheads," Fred says.
They all turn to look at the woman who walks over to the headmaster's podium and hushed whispers fill the room.
"Thank you, Headmaster, for those kind words of welcome" The woman simpers. "And how lovely to see all your bright happy faces smiling up at me"
Maggie's eyes scan to room to not see a single impressed face excluding Argus Filch who looked positively delighted at the woman's appearance.
"I think Filch is drooling," Maggie whispers.
"That's vile," Hermione shudders.
"I'm sure we're all going to be great friends," Umbridge continues in her speech.
"That's likely,"
"That's likely,"
The twins' dulcet tones cause their surrounding friends to snort and try to stifle their laughter. Maggie has her head bowed as Harry lifts one of the goblets to his lips, sipping the liquid as he tries not to choke. Hermione had her face set in a firm line but her lips kept twitching.
Umbridge's eyes lock onto the small group that is laughing, her eyes harden as she glares at them. But it had little effect, it was clear they didn't care about her approval.
"The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young witches and wizards of vital importance," The woman continues. "Although each Headmaster has brought something new to this historic school, progress for the sake of progress must be discouraged. Let us preserve what must be preserved, perfect what can be perfected and prune practices that ought to be prohibited"
"That doesn't sound good," Maggie mumbles to Hermione who shakes her head.
"Can one of you translate the political bullshit to regular people's terms?" Fred asks.
"The Ministry is interfering at Hogwarts," Hermione says.
"Ballsy move," Maggie says. "I doubt it's a coincidence that we've all been assigned the same theory of defensive magic book and she's the defence against the dark arts teacher"
"So we're not going to do magic?" Lee asks, his brow furrowing in confusion.
"I doubt it,"
"But our exam is practical!"
"I don't think the Ministry really cares," Maggie shrugs. "In their eyes, we've all been brainwashed by Dumbledore so we're going to struggle to get any Ministry jobs above a cleaner"
"Our final year is supposed to be fun," Lee groans. "This is going to suck dick"
"Isn't that supposed to be a fun activity?" George asks.
"Yeah for the receiver," Maggie mutters and Hermione nods in agreement. "Hermione, you deviant! Who- When- What-"
"I'll whisper it," Hermione says and Maggie nods, leaning down. "I met up with Viktor before I came to Grimmauld Place"
"I might be sick," Maggie grimaces.
"Hermione Granger, you dirty dog!" Fred exclaims causing both witches to turn to him. "What? I can read my girlfriend's facial expressions. Honestly? You can do better"
"Oh my god," Harry turns to face Hermione, keeping his voice low. "Is it Malfoy?"
"Hey, Draco isn't all bad," Maggie states. "Besides, this is worse. So much worse"
"Who can possibly be worse?"
"A dirty pervert," Maggie grumbles.
"Krum?" Harry whispers and Hermione's cheeks flush red. "Wow, congrats Hermione"
"No, do not condone this Harold!" Maggie hisses. "It is age inappropriate"
"But I would if I was in her position, he's a world-famous Quidditch player,"
"Still illegal,"
"You do drugs, Maggie," Harry points his fork at her accusingly.
"That's miles better than a eighteen year old shagging a fifteen year old," Maggie says, tossing a bread roll at Harry's head.
"Nineteen," Fred corrects Maggie.
"Oh god, it gets worse. It got worse,"
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