Chapter 2

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"Okay, okay, then how about this?" I asked my horse. I cleared my throat and said in a deeper tone than my usual voice, "'You there. Where do I sign in? Heh. I see you've got a sword on you. They are quite manly and-" my sword fell out of its sheath.
He fell on his back, showing that he was laughing. Angry, I threw one of my black slippers at him and fiercely asked with my scariest face, "Is there a problem?" The poor horse trembled and shook his head. I sighed, "I'm working on it, but who am I kidding? It's gonna have to take a miracle to get me into the army."
"DID I HEAR SOMEONE ASK FOR A MIRACLE?!" a booming voice cried out. I turned and saw fire and a shadow of a dragon. "LEMME HEAR YA SAY 'AH!'"
"KYYYYAAAA!" I shrieked. The dragon chuckled, "Well, that's close enough. Get ready, Erza! Cuz I've been sent by your ancestors to guide ya through your masquerade!" More flames were flying about as he continued, "So heed my words, cuz if the army finds out that you're a woman, the PENALTY IS DEATH!"
I asked in fear, "Who are you?" The shadowy dragon had his talons point to himself. "Who am I? Who am I? I am guardian of lost souls! I am the powerful, the indestructible, END, Natsu!" A pink lizard came out and made a pose. He smirked, "Pretty hot, huh?" My horse then stamped over him, and you can hear him screaming, "Oy! Hey! Watch it! Ow!" I pulled my horse away to make sure that he wasn't killed. Thankfully, he was fine and recovered quickly.
I bent down and pulled him up. "Uh, my ancestors sent a lizard to help me?" He slapped my hand away and corrected, "Hey, hey, hey, dragon! Dragon! Not lizard! I don't do that tongue stuff." Contrary to that, he made his tongue go out. You're...umm..." I had no words to describe the little thing. He suggested, "Intimidating? Inspiring?"
"Tiny," I made a gesture to show that he was small. "Well duh! I'm travel size! But I'm originally a human! Its just that I can transform into this and a dragon. If I was in a full dragon mode, your cow here would die of fright." He patted my horse's nose, only to be almost bitten. "Down, Bessie!" Natsu growled. He slithered around me as he bragged, "And my powers are beyond your mortal imagination! For instance! My eyes, can see straaaight through your armor." Covering my covered chest and glaring, I slapped his face, forcing him to fly and fall headfirst.
"Alright that's it! Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow, dishonor on-" I ran up and covered his mouth. "Okay, okay I'm sorry." We both calmed down and took deep breaths. "I'm just nervous, I've never done this before, I admitted. Natsu sighed, putting his claws on his face. "Then you're gonna have trust me on this! Let's go!"
We rode over to the camp, which made me nervous. Natsu slid in my collar and whispered to me, "Okay, this is it. Time to show them your man walk. Shoulders back." I pushed my shoulders back. "Chest high." Puffed my chest up. "Feet apart." I moved my muscly legs apart. "Head up and strut!"
It felt...awkward. I mean, people were looking at me. Natsu simply said, "Aw, chill. Ignore those bozos, you're fine. Work it!" Soon we reached a tent full of men doing very cringeworthy actions. "Beautiful, isn't it?" Natsu smiled. I made a disgusted face and growled back, "They're disgusting! How vexing!"
"No, they're men. And you're gonna have to act just like 'em so pay attention," he pushed my head to the front to see just as he says. A man showed his chest with a tattoo of a mermaid and declared to two others, "This tattoo will protect me from harm!" One of them, a spiky black-haired man, smirked at the other one, a midnight blue haired male, and punched the man with the tattoo. He fell over and groaned as the blue boy hooted and rolled on the floor, "I hope you could get your money back! Hahahaha!"
I had a deadpan look on my face as I made the thug clear, "I-I don't think I can do this." Natsu tutted at my behavior and whispered, "It's about attitude! Look at this guy here!" The spiky black-haired man caught me looking at him and snarled, "Whaddaya looking at?"
"Punch that guy! That's how we say hello!" Natsu grinned in encouragement. I punched my softest, but the impact was loud and made him bump into a blonde-haired teen. "Oh, lookie here. You made a new friend, Gajeel-san."
"Good, now slap him on the back! They like that!" Natsu made swiping movements in the air to gesture. I slapped Gajeel, or more like spanked him playfully. He turned around and squeaked, "Woah! I'm not gay, sorry, I like girls! But I'm gonna hit ya so hard, it'll make your ancestors dizzy!" He pulled me by the collar, only to be picked up by the blonde. "Gajeel-San, relax and chant with me, okay?" he said and then he chanted a bunch of meditation words. If I wasn't so scared about Gajeel killing me, I would've laughed at the sight of Sting carrying Gajeel. Luckily he calmed down and was put down.
"Ah, you're not worth my time, chicken boy." Natsu got out of my collar and roared, "Chicken boy? Say that to my face, ya limp noodle!" I inwardly growled at Natsu for coming our and speaking as I was pulled again by Gajeel. He threw a punch at me, which I ducked at and his fist collided with the midnight-blue haired boy from earlier.
"Oh! Sorry, Gray," Gajeel said apologetically in an innocent way. Gray fell down as Gajeel noticed I crawled away. "Hey!" he cried out when he pulled on my legs. Gray kicked his behind, which caused Gajeel to smash into the blonde and fall over.
I took this as a chance to run away, since Gray then pounced on them and they fought, creating a thick fog. "Oh! There he goes!" Gray yelled. They ran after me, making me hide in the tent for the chickens.
Thankfully they were stupid, cuz they passed by me and then halted to an abrupt stop at the line for food. However, Sting couldn't stop and caused them to all crash like dominos. They all looked at me and came closer to me, like they were preying on me.
"Now, now," I reasoned with them while trembling.
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And now, in front of me was a huge mess. A sky-blue haired man came out and yelled, "Soldiers!" Everyone stopped and parted away to reveal me. "He started it!" they cried. I stopped curling into a ball and looked up. It was...it was my childhood friend and crush, Jellal.
Hurriedly, I got up and brushed off invisible dust. He had a fierce look on his face as he said, "I don't need anyone causing trouble in my camp."
"I'm very sorry, Je-, captain." I bowed down. He ordered, "Tell me your name." I stammered, "Uh..um...well...that's a good question...uh...I...uh..."
The green haired man from back then came up and reprimanded me, "Your commanding officer just asked you a question." I nervously stalled, "Yes, name. I have a name...a boy's name of course."
Natsu, sensing my dilemma, suggested, "How about Gray?" I whispered fiercely as I nodded to the beat up guy, "That guy is Gray." Jellal had a vein almost popping as he said, "I didn't asked for his, I asked for yours!"
"Ah, Chu!" Natsu said.
"Ah Chu!" I replied.
"Achoo?" Jellal had a faint smile on his face. Natsu sniggered, "Bless ya. I kill myself." I growled, "Natsu.." Jellal repeated angrily, "Natsu?"
I shook my head furiously, "No."
"Then what is it?!" I tried to think of one until Natsu finally said, "Ezra! There! It's your name with just the r and z switched!"
"It's Ezra!"
"Ezra?"
"Yes, my name is Ezra." Jellal looked up and down at me and demanded, "Let me see your conscription notice." I handed it to him as he read, "Rob Scarlet. The Rob Scarlet?" He looked suspicious. I just hoped that he didn't know that it was really me.
Greenie added, "I didn't know Rob had a son." I made up, "Uh, he doesn't talk much about me. I was born when my sister was 10." By that time, Jellal already left Rosemary Village to join his father in military school. Jellal sighed, finally taking the story.
"Alright gentlemen. Thanks to your new friend, Ezra,you'll spend tonight picking ever single grain of rice." Groans were heard. "And tomorrow, the real work begins. Got it?!" After he left, Gray, Sting, and Gajeel growled and made their fists, signaling that they were gonna kill me.
Natsu told me, "Okay, it's decided, we really need to work on your people skills."

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