A Girl With Her Thoughts (A Collection Of Short Stories)

Broken Lovers

His eyes bore into mine and I instantly understood. From now on, we were one and nothing could separate us. Nothing could stop us. A bond between us stronger than time itself was formed. We are forever, stuck in our own permanent infinity. We only needed each other and our love it was beautiful and spectacular. Our faces were mere inches apart and with our sign agreement, he leaned in and brushed his lips against mine. We stayed like that, wrapped up in each other's embrace for ages. I could live in that single moment of pure bliss, but like all good things, they must come to an eventual end.

The changes were slow and hidden at first. Little things that blew up and left us speechless and angry but were quickly forgiven. Forgotten dates, chores and simple acts of affection were multiplied for the both of us.

Tension mounted, but love still lingered. Yelling and screaming filled the house frequently and many tears were shed. Days passed, then weeks and still nothing changed. Almost like neither of us wanted to admit that our love was tainted, our agreement slowly falling apart. Then things finally exploded. Harsh words, insults, labels, and much worse fly from both fronts and every action hit its' mark.

Blow after blow hit me and I try to stay strong but no one is indestructible. Finally he found the chink in my armor, the one spot I couldn't defend. With deadly accuracy, he fires the final shot and I am down for the count. With a broken heart and a broken spirit, I run from everything I have learned to love. It takes a few minutes before everything finally sunk in. I was alone now and a beautiful love was destroyed. Was it my fault? Something I said? Something I did? Almost automatically, I start blaming myself, convincing my hearty hat I did something so horribly wrong that he just couldn't love me anymore. Like I had turned into some horrible monster and not the girl he'd fallen for.

A little voice in the back of my head was saying that it wasn't my fault, that it was because of things we both did. Part of me wanted to desperately believe it but the other part of me was so insecure that there was no way it wasn't all my fault. I had to of done something wrong, somehow, I was to blame. I was too messed up for anyone to love me and he just though I was different and somewhat normal. So of course when he saw the real me, it was all over and I didn't have anymore chances to fix it.

But, when it comes down to it, I loved him and I was under the impression that he loved me too. Obviously I was wrong. We were together for almost 5 months before it all came crashing down around me.

When I look at my phone, he's left over 7 voice mails and 15 texts.  All of them were trying to apologize for what he said and that he didn't mean anything he said. And to top it off, he told me that he still loved me. I smile bitterly and put his number on Do Not Disturb. If he didn't mean what he said, why did he say them in the first place? He obviously meant them. Tears pricked my eyes but I wiped them away angrily. I was not going to cry over him. He does not deserve my tears.

Pulling out my phone, I sent him one text that said everything  that needed to be said. "Your sorry doesn't mean anything to me anymore. If you said those things to me, you obviously said them for a reason. I loved you for so longed and I thought you loved me too, but I was wrong. I hope you realize the consequences off your actions because I will never  forget what you've said. I hope you're happy because you drove me away and now there is no way you can get be back. I honestly hope you manage to find someone to make you happy because I obviously failed and couldn't. It's over for good now. Goodbye forever."

I choked back a small sob as I hit send. Then, I couldn't hold it in anymore and I broke down. Everything I felt since the last shot was fired came pouring out and I just cried. I cried for him, for our love, for what I did, and for what I lost. I curled up in a ball and continued to sob and cry rivers into my T-shirt.  But, little did I know, he was doing the same thing, with his head in his hands, asking one simple question.

"What have I done?"