Star Trek: Phoenix-X - Season 7

BBS#7: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Record

Trek BBS: January/February 2023 Challenge
"Pets: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Record"

The Prometheus-class U.S.S. Phoenix-X drifted, seamlessly through space, with no explanation nor justification whatsoever. Commander Night Seifer and Doctor Lox took to the corridors until they found themselves in the Cargo Bay where the interim senior staff was busy stuffing various backpacks, duffle bags and moving boxes.

"So, the inter-ship Talaxian news was, for once, actually worth listening to, huh?" Seifer sputtered in confirmation. "You're all leaving the Phoenix-X for your other postings! Perhaps the U.S.S. Titan or the U.S.S. Enterprise then?"

Kugo dropped her bags for a moment. "Commander, do you even know what letter the Titan or the Enterprise is on right now?"

"Probably A or F, or something. Honestly, we're so far ahead, all other ships are babies to me," Seifer admitted. "But I never expected to be abandoned by the progress-partners who helped maintain said amplitude in the first place!"

Armond stood up from his packing. "Well, you should have, sir. You keep calling us back to this ship for the exact same stations, in the exact same ranks, for the exact same no-recognition/no-praise! The crew of the Stargazer keeps saying our existence breaks Starfleet canon because we haven't ranked-up since the Dominion war."

"Oh, those were the days," Kayl lilted. "Jem'Hadar with constant identity issues, Bajorans teaching Cardassians how to rebel? The irony was priceless. Also, how similar-looking was Benjamin Sisko's father to 23rd century Admiral Cartwright? Anyone?"

Seifer face-palmed. "Alright, fine. Things have gotten a little stale, I admit. We all seem to be trapped in a Typhon Expanse-style time-loop while other crews on other ships have promotions every seven seasons or so." And then, "Oh, 'seasons' is another word for years in the command circles. Upper-level lingo. You wouldn't understand."

"That's very syndication-worthy, Commander. But what's worse is that every time this staff is up for rank advancement, an apparent crew transgression always, always prevents us from unlocking said achievement unlocks," Red added. "And I'm not even in Starfleet."

Ensign Dan took a stand, finally. "Yeah, and all my relieves-of-duty have flooded my record with red flags!"

"You're relieved!" countered Seifer. After he watched the Ensign exit, he took a breath and re-addressed the others. "Look. I hear you. But Starfleet/Klingon bureaucracy necessitates humanoid sluggards. Besides, that first transgression was our fault anyway."

Everyone hesitated in an attempt to recall.

"The Typhon Pact? We diverged into the Destiny-timeline during an umpteenth Borg incursion and emboldened them to build a horrible metallic monstrosity that was their Frontier-class Deep Space 9 (II) rebuild," reminded Commander Seifer.

Kayl shuddered in sudden memory of that high school-level team building exercise. "Oh, yeah. That should be the last time we design anything as a group. Just thinking about those X-Y-Z rings still gives me vertigo."

"Yes, but that ridiculousness remained contained to an alternate timeline," re-established Kugo. "If Spock traded universes and had high-octane adventures with slightly different and younger versions of his crew, vetted by him as if they looked anything alike, no one would ask questions."

Seifer did a double-take at that concept. "Uh, the subspace message boards would be lit and who's to say that didn't happen?" Also, "Besides, what about our second transgression? Oh, how I count the computer purges."

Everyone furrowed their brows in their shared failed attempts at specificity.

"When we covertly helped those two androids make first contact with the U.S.S. Ibn Majid?" Seifer queried of their mental databanks.