All my life the boys around me have never been mature. Granted, I'm only 17 and they are around my age - you'd think that the one I want would be more mature. I love him. I do, but he can be perverted sometimes. That's what knocks me off the wagon. He's perfect everywhere else. I can't help it. I know in his eyes it's nothing. To me, it's everything.
When I was young, I was raped. Since then sex has been a difficult subject. Before you ask, no, I'm not a virgin. That's okay with me. I can have sex. It's hormones. It's the subject or the nature of "sexting" that makes me uncomfortable. I don't know why.
I know in my heart that this haunting memory will never go away. People say, "Don't let the past control your future." Well, this does nothing but form me who I am. I'm too mature. It's one of my problems. It's why I fight with someone. They say I need to have fun but I can't. I'm too careful. Sometimes, I'll let my hair down and have fun, but that's rare.
My confession: I love him. I hate the sex-talk.
