He couldn't sleep , his body clock was all wrong but he also hadn't felt this happy since his wedding day, Rose was asleep on her back , he couldn't help wonder at the miracle that inside her stomach was his baby girl , growing and stretching and maybe even hiccupping , or so he had read.
Just then her entire bump seemed to change shape , 'Did my baby just move ?' he thought with excitement, He slowly eased the cover back to below the bump and watched and waited ..one side seemed to get a lump then disappeared again..' a kick?' he thought.
Fascinated he shifted his body gently to look closer, he even lightly placed his hand where the lump had been a moment ago..'OH! ' that was definitely a kick , and then the whole bump seemed to wobble and then there as another kick.
Tears of wonderment filled his eyes he had never felt anything like it before in his life, this feeling .
Rose stirred and opened her eyes , " What's wrong ?" she asked quickly seeing his face , He smiled ! Im going to be a dad " he said " Its real , I felt her , I saw her move " Rose pushed herself up to a sitting position and pulled him in to hold him , she gave a gentle laugh " Have you only just realised this ?" she asked jokingly , She felt him nod his head in her shoulder and she patted his back smiling.
Then he pulled back quickly " what if she is clumsy like me ? she might hurt herself , or has my big nose ?" " You do not have a big nose " she said " and if she is clumsy we will wrap her up in cotton wool " she laughed " she is going to be perfect and so are you as a dad "
Panic was setting in though, he had thought he was ready , intellectually he was prepared , he had read all the books, researched on line, even spoken to his parents , but some how that had all been on a separate level of acceptance, This.. this right now seeing his baby and feeling her move under his hands brought a whole knew meaning to the word father , It will be the single most amazing thing he will ever do in his life, and he had achieved many things but to help create a human, raise one it was mind blowing .." Stop !" Rose said putting her hand on his cheek , he looked at her.. " stop what ?" he asked..
"stop panicking, stop internalising your fears , You are the most amazing person I know, you are intelligent, talented, kind, humble, caring and loving , If I had to search the world over I couldn't find any one more perfect to be my baby's father, "
He didn't know what to say.... he caressed her cheek in the end and said simply " Thank you , I'll do my best I promise "
" I love you " she said simply ,then " Lets eat, me and baby are starving " she smiled and Rm suddenly remembered he wanted to be the one to feed her foods she craved and rub her back and he jumped out of the bed startling her .
" what do you want to eat ?" he asked excitedly earlier fears temporarily forgotten. This was his job and he could at least do this well for her . " I cant cook but I can order " He said with a wide grin that showed his dimples ..
They spent a leisurely morning , eating and catching up , it was beautiful and both wished that they could stay like it for a long time . After lunch Rm apologised but had to ring his manager to check everything was ok and confirm the arrangements for getting him back to the boys in the morning , Rose took the time to check in with Jennifer briefly and have her blood pressure checked and to ring Lee Soo-bo . she apologise for her absence and gave him some stock checking jobs to do and general cleaning and then her and Rm snuggled together to watch a movie . It was beautiful just sitting there with each other, Rm had one arm around her shoulders so her head lay in the crook of his arm and he had his other hand on her tummy , hoping to feel more kicks and movements.
The film finished and after discussing and ordering dinner Rm said " I have been thinking about names "
" Really ? she said " me too , but I don't seem to be able to stick with any or decide on English or Korean "
That shocked him " English ? " He said , It hadn't occurred to him she might want to name the baby an English name , after all they would be raising the baby in Korea .
" Well I was thinking some Korean names sound English too, for example your surname.. Kim .. is a girls first name in England , I had thought about trying to play about with different ideas like that , but to be honest I didn't get very far, and then I thought about flower names, as you know, my side of the family the girls all have flower names , but then again I had the problem of English or Korean.. what are your thoughts ?"
He had to think about how to word his thoughts so as to not offend , but honestly of course his baby would have a Korean name, a nice traditional Korean name full of meaning...
" well " he said slowly " if you don't mind I too have been thinking about names, but ill be honest they're all korean , I didn't think about an English name , sorry "
She smiled " That's okay , tell me what you've come up with "
Grateful she was so understanding he continued " well we know she will be Kim something , and did you know that Koreans put a lot of belief into the power of names, "
" does your name mean something ?" she asked curiously
he nodded " It means ' a respectable and gifted person in the south ' "
" well your parents got that right didn't they ? So what have you come up with ?"
" I had thought about your family tradition and flower names as well, I had a few names of Korean flowers in mind, but none quite fit "
Dinner came and they ate and discussed baby names until early evening , by which time Rm was struggling to stay awake.
" come on sleepy head , Ill let you snuggle with me for a while and you can have a nap, in fact I might have one too, I think I've got a bit of a headache coming , "
" Are you okay ?" he asked, sleepy but worried,
" Its just a headache " she said , nothing a nap wont fix.
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