Blind To Tears | jenlisa (ON HOLD)

Chapter 6

LISA

Seoul September 2022

"You don't understand, Jay." I shake my head in resignation. He places a hand on his temple with a sigh.

"How do I not understand?" I'm fighting back tears. I couldn't sleep all night. Every little sound that came through the walls made me jump. Deep circles under my eyes are written all over my face.

"I'm telling you, someone was in my room!" Jay sighs. Why is he sighing? Does he think I'm imagining it all? Desperately I run my hand through my hair. It's all disheveled from the constant touching.

"You have to help me!" I whimper. Jay stands up and pours some water into a glass. There is nothing written on his face. I can't tell whether he believes me or whether he doesn't believe me.

"Sit down and start again." I run my hands over my eyes, catching small tears. He comes towards me and puts the glass of water on the table in front of me.

We're in his office. Since seven o'clock In the morning I wait for him here. Since I refused to talk to anyone else. Either Jennie or Jay. I don't trust a complete stranger police officer. Maybe I shouldn't trust the ones I know either.

"Please." Jay starts and points to the chair where I should sit. Sniffling, I sit down and take a long sip of my glass of water.

"Take your time." Jay blinks at me carefully.

I think I'm like a porcelain doll in his eyes. Fragile. Something you have to deal with carefully because the consequences are too expensive. It's incredibly irritating how a person treats you after he finds out that you were involved in something tragic.

There are three types of people. The overprotective, the ignorant and the ones who understand you. My mother was the overprotective one. She brought me tea in bed every night and asked me if it I'm fine. She showered me and got me covered. When I was in the room, no one was allowed to turn on the news. Candles were no longer lit and my father was no longer allowed to light his cigarettes in the house. It was almost ridiculous. My mother meant it good, but I felt like a problem. Like something that was wrong. My father tried to teach me something about morals and fate, but it was in vain. Every single word that left his lips made me incredibly angry. Then he tried to tell me old stories. Fairy tales and stories that his mother told him during his childhood. Really touching... if only his mother wasn't a walking witch without the matching broom.

I shake my head imperceptibly. Let's get to the ignorant people. While I was at home with my parents, I had visitors quite often. Be it from any aunts or uncles. People wanted to know how I was doing. That I don't laugh! A fatal reason to drink a coffee and gossip about your family and homeland. Every time they had a question about my 'incident', it wasn't directed at me but to my parents. It was extremely cheeky then the way they look me in the face and whisper 'sin'. Staring at me like I was a science experiment, wishing me good luck in my face and then whispering in the background how I'll never be normal again?

If this is anything like aftercare, then I'm not worried. It's a real shame. Shame that I haven't been able to get to know the third and final option yet. Someone who understands me... takes me in their arms and comforts me. Someone who still holds my hand when I can't speak. Who doesn't make me believe that things will get better or easier but the seriousness of the topic confronted. I haven't had that luck yet but let's see what else is open for me.

"Lalisa?" I clear my throat and look into Jay's eyes.

Jay has a calming way about him. With him you can switch off. Completely different than Jennie. With him everything is so fiery and fast-paced. I rub my hands together nervously.