When The Song Changes

Part 5

During their practice sessions for the song, Felix had ensured plenty of physical and emotional distance. He didn't look at Changbin and made sure to nail his parts to guarantee they could practice as little as possible. He had even somehow managed to sing the words without hearing them. Without feeling. He had been successful in practice, now he just had to do it again once more for the cameras.

Of course, that didn't mean Felix had been successful at avoiding thoughts about another song Changbin had written about his relationship with Felix. This one had come after the kiss. Changbin had explained during a live 'Chan's Room' video that he had written it about having feelings for a friend that you are scared to confess your feelings to and ruin your friendship. When Chan had tried to give him an easy out by asking if it was inspired by a movie, Changbin refused to take the bait and simply said it was inspired by many things. But Felix knew it was about him. Their relationship. Changbin's fears. Changbin's internal conflicts.

It hadn't been a coincidence that Changbin chose Felix to start the song with him. Since Changbin had chosen to release it as a group song, having Felix sing along with him for the intro was the closest he could get to dedicating the song to Felix without being too obvious. The lyrics always gave Changbin away though. His thoughts on Felix being irresistibly charming and too beautiful. Being mesmerized by Felix. Changbin's attempts to get closer. The line he balanced on until he lost his footing. The regret he struggled with in taking things too far. The original title of "Sorry that I love you so much" had ultimately become "Sorry, I love you" and both broke Felix's heart.