Inhale: Book One (bxb) ✔️

6. Can you hug me?

Everest Pierce

Outer Banks, North Carolina
November 3rd evening & November 4th day.

Landon was upset.

During the entire trip to the Outer Banks, he was silent and stared out the window instead of reading on his Kindle. He didn't speak unless I asked the occasional question about his basic needs. Like asking him to drink some water or eat something. He rejected eating but thankfully consumed some water.

I wanted to leave him alone to handle whatever was going on in his head, but I was worried.

We dragged ourselves into our condo, where we were spending the next five days before moving to Florida. We would be in Miami for a couple of days before venturing to Disney in Orlando. We would be there for our shared birthday, and I knew he was thrilled about that idea. Except now, Landon was the shell of someone I didn't particularly recognize.

Something happened, and I had no idea how to help him.

There was only one room in the condo, and two beds.

Landon dropped his suitcase next to the one near the windows and fell into the mattress. I watched with calculated eyes as he lay there without moving a muscle before I finally sighed and set my bag down. Something had to be done to clear the clouds away from the sunshine that he usually provided.

I didn't have a way with words like most people did, but I sure as hell was going to try.

So, I walked over to Landon's chosen bed and sat on the edge, looking him over before I opened my mouth to speak. "Landon, can you tell me what I can do to help? You're clearly torn up about something, and seeing you like this is..." Hurting my soul. "Daunting."

Landon groaned before he pulled himself up, sitting beside me so close that our thighs brushed together. I had to suck in a breath before I made it obvious how he affected me. "There are things you don't know about me, and I can't exactly tell you about them right now. I mean, realistically, I can, but that's not how my brain works. I need order. I was diagnosed with...a mental condition last year, and I wanted to tell my brother first. So, I haven't told anyone else. If I don't tell him, then I feel like my brain will scramble. Yet, I have this need to talk to someone about it. I've been alone when dealing with it. Coming to terms with it."

Thinking about Landon and everything he hinted about, I think I had a pretty good idea of what he was diagnosed with. "What if someone guessed the diagnosis? Would that throw your brain out of wack?"

He stared down at his hands, pressing his thumb to his palm. "No, I don't think so. The way I see it is that the words have to leave my mouth for it to count."

I swallowed, hoping I wasn't wrong. "Landon, were you..." When he looked at me with widened eyes, I almost couldn't get the rest of the words out. "Were you diagnosed with autism?"

Oh fuck, not the tears. I have no training in dealing with tears. "Is it that obvious?"

How do I fix this? I sure as hell didn't know. It was one of those times I wished I could freeze time and call my parents. "No, Landon. It's not that. You've hinted at it more than once. When you told me you missed social cues or couldn't read conversations the same as others. I also noticed that you didn't like your food to touch, and that can be a sign." I told him honestly. "Even if it was obvious, which I can't tell you whether it was or not--I don't see you as anything except Landon. You've been autistic since birth; nothing has changed."

Landon released a breath, still toying with his fingers. "I tried calling my brother to tell him about my diagnosis, and I read the situation all wrong. I was in a bad place, and I didn't think properly. My brother has always been my biggest cheerleader. He always supported me. He was always there. And I misread him. I didn't have enough faith in him. I can't...fix that."