Wars in Goiky (BFDI history)

The Second Great Goiky War

In 1985, after annexing Dream Island and taking control of two bodies of water, South Goiky decided to try to attack Davidland. Hatly succeeded, but North Goiky and The Pillary Ruins declared war on both South Goiky and Jaipy. Yoyleland remains neutral. Yoyleland president Woody urges them to not bomb civilian and unfortified cities, which Hatly, Pillary Ruins' prime minister Church, and Davidland's president Jersey accept, saying they'll only attack militarized cities.

On September 10, Davidland was bombed by South Goiky and an estimated 2,763 Davidians died. South Goiky also built concentration camps for any North Goikians and immigrants from different countries that weren't from South Goiky. Jaipy also attacks Chanaland, a country on a continent to the east. On September 18, Davidland becomes occupied by the South Goikians and most Davidians are sent to concentration camps.

After Davidland, Hatly focuses his attention on North Goiky. They had only built a small wall, so South Goiky soldiers easily invaded. They proceded to take the entirety of North Goiky. Hatly thought this would make The Pillary Ruins surrender, but he was greatly wrong.

In October, North Goiky starts bombing the South Goiky capital Byrlyn and South Goiky starts bombing Yellow Face's Warehouse in The Pillary Ruins. Meanwhile, Jaipy invades the Chanaland city of Nanjyng and massacres them.

At the beginning of 1986, many North Goikian soldiers began rationing food. South Goiky also starts to bomb other parts of The Pillary Ruins as well as Yellow Face's Warehouse.

This was also the year when tanks began to become widely used. Here is an interview with a tank designer and builder, Balloon.

Interviewer: How were your experiences as a tank constructor?

Balloon: They were okay, I guess... better than actually operating them, at least.

I: Why?

B: We had to make the tanks kind of small so they could actually move without breaking down.

I: Why not get a bigger engine or something?

B: All our budget went into the guns and armor.

On June 27, Jaipy attacked the small military base off the coast of Yoyleland by the name of Hawaiy. This causes Yoyleland and The Pillary Ruins to declare war on Jaipy.

In September, an individual from Yoyleland named Blocky began a show called Blocky's Funny Doings International, or BFDI. On the show, he would film himself "pranking" South Goikians on the battlefield by planting thousands of landmines and various booby traps. The show garnered a massive following, so Blocky could afford more and better traps. At one point he bought a bomb and rented a plane so he could drop it. The show lost popularity as the war came to a close and Blocky's pranks got old. Here is how episode 10, the most popular episode, went.

Episode 10: Gas Tanks and Huge Explosions

Blocky: Hey, booby trap enthusiasts! Blocky here with another episode of BFDI! In this one, I bought several gas tanks usually used for the Shrapnel tank, and we're going to plant them with a mechanism that explodes when triggered. Let's get to it!

[montage of Blocky burying the gas tanks]

Blocky: Ok, guys, I forgot to mention that my friend Pen helped me bury the gas tanks! Thanks, Pen! Anyway let's watch them drive over the tanks in their tanks!

[tank explodes]

Blocky: Woah! That was huge! That dude's probably dead! Oh, there's one about to go off!

[two tanks explode]

Blocky: Did that just take out two tanks?! That's at least six people we just killed! Pretty cool, dontcha think?

[outro]

This episode was brought to you by Blocky's Funny Doings International and the Yoyleland Broadcasting Network (YBN).

In August, Woody's son also named Woody was captured in battle by South Goiky and he was sent to a concentration camp called Ayaanshwyz. He was not immediately killed because he was muscular and they thought they could use him for labor. He kept a diary during his time there. Here, there is the first day he was there, some day in the middle, and the last day. You'll notice the vocabulary decrease as time goes on as a result of trauma.

August 16

This morning in battle I was captured and sent to a concentration camp. I do not want to delve into that... too much trauma. Here, they keep us in blocks in houses with many other people in them. It's so crowded, I have almost no space to write this.

An old man named Bucket told me some stuff about this place. First, I would be dead if not for my muscles that they can use for manual labor. Second, we all share a bathroom, so... and lastly, don't start a rebellion, they will just kill you. Wish me luck, diary.

June 3 (1988)

I had to work for eighteen hours today. I am so tired. Living here is hell. I have no idea what is going on outside. Are we winning? Losing? Is dad dead? I want to end it, but the only weapon is the wall, and that seems very painful. Also they're probably gonna kill me, my muscles got smaller.

May 7 (1989)

I heard hatly died from someone, yay. Also they said that South goiky stopped the war, and I think I will be let out soon? Fianlly, its about time.

After this, Woody would only be able to speak in waahs as a result of massive PTSD and trauma.

While Woody II was there, Jaipy took several small islands in the West Goiky Ocean. The Northern Desert was trying to expand more north, but failing miserably. The Pillary Ruins, seeing this, decide that TND is weak and plan to attack it with Yoyleland. They succeed and TND switches sides in the war, greatly angering Hatly. After this, Yoyleland starts bombing Byrlyn and other industrial cities in South Goiky.

Later that year, Yoyleland took the islands in the West Goiky Ocean from Jaipy, and Dream Island from South Goiky. This later became known as the Battle for Dream Island, with casualties estimated to be 27,630 or 27,420. Yoyleland then conquered every island Jaipy owned except for Jaipy itself, but Jaipy refused to surrender. 

In Goiky, The Pillary Ruins and Yoyleland land at Nairmyndy in North Goiky. The landing is a success and they bring North Goiky back and almost invade South Goiky itself. Hatly sends the rest of his tanks and soldiers to fight them, and slightly does it. However, after this, there are no more South Goikian soldiers so the North Goikian countries march into South Goiky and eventually Byrlyn, where Hatly shoots himself.

All South Goikians are moved to a small island in the West Goiky Ocean, later to be known as "Inanimate Insanity Island".

Also in the West Goiky Ocean, Woody threatens to destroy Jaipy with UFOs. Jaipy then threatens to  nuke Yoyle City. Woody decides to destroy Jaipy, so he evacuates Yoyle City and sends hundreds of UFOs to Jaipy. They are so effective, the island is wiped off the face of the Earth. This left an impact on Yoyleland and the event is even in the intro to the show "IDFB".