Not to Hot

1

"Die, you ugly horse face", I scream at the television. I sway the game controller about forcefully.

"You win!"

I mentally high five myself in my succession. I've always been quite the sports player, on Wii Sports of course. I wouldn't dream of going anywhere near a real tennis racket.

I turn off the console and head to the kitchen to get myself a snack. Hmm, Oreos or a Mars Bar?

I'll take both! I know it's not healthy but it just tastes so good. I think I'm addicted to food, like I just can't stop eating. I'm quite overweight, and I'm one of those people who's really insecure about it.

I've had quite a sheltered life, never been bullied, never had problems at home and haven't had a medical or mental disease. In school I have a group of friends that I'm really close with and no one else matters to me outside them except my family. In school work, I'm a hard worker so I get the results I want. Other than that, school is fine.

Another thing that makes me feel insecure is all my friends have boyfriends or have had boyfriends and I've never been asked out. I guess I'm just not good enough for someone to like me, I'm ugly, fat and probably pretty annoying. God!
I've just got myself in a really depressed mood. I'm just going to put some makeup on to feel better about myself.

By now, I've finished my snack.. I mean snacks and I've gone and done myself a neutral eye makeup with a bold lip. It actually looks good for someone who does the basics. Maybe I should get changed into something nice and actually go out.

I text my best friend Amy and ask her if she's free, and within 30 seconds she replies yes. I phone her and we make plans to go to the shops at 2 pm. Not that I'll actually buy something, I like to window shop because let's face it, none of those clothes will look as nice on me as they do on the mannequins.

I change out of my pyjamas and put on a really oversized t-shirt so I can hide my big fat stomach the best I can. I pair that with black leggings and light blue vans. As for my hair, I just put some dry shampoo in it, as it's kinda greasy. I have really oily skin and greasy hair and about a million trillion spots that are so noticeable that I used a whole tube of concealer in about 5 uses. I can thank the McDonald's and KFC for that.

I watch a movie on Netflix and after that it's 1:30pm. I'm really hungry now, I'm trying to fight it but I just can't it is too hard. I give in and eat large portion of cake. I only had lunch 20 minutes ago.

I wait out the remainder of the time playing a game on my phone and at 2:04pm Amy is at the door.

"FOUR MINUTES LATE AMY DELLWORTH", I mockingly gave off to her.

"Oh geez, I'm am so sorry, I just saw a stray cat on the road and I dropped it off to the animal shelter because I'm such a good citizen", she exclaims sarcastically.

"Ha ha, let's go", we hop into her car and drive into town.

We get out of the car and head into the first shop we see. Every item of clothing I see, I dream of wearing it with a perfect figure. I probably would have a good fashion sense if I could buy anything but I can only buy things that don't highlight the stubborn fat around my hips and legs.

Amy picks up a t-shirt and a pair of shorts as it's getting closer to summer everyday and we head into the changing rooms so she can go try them on.

"What do you think?", she asks as she swishes the curtain back and puts her hands on her hips.

Ugh! I'm so jealous of her, she is so skinny and beautiful and it deteriorates my confidence every time I see her. I just wish I could be like her.

"Looking good girl," I reply with fake excitement, I feel so down about myself.

"Should I buy them?"

"One hundred percent!"

I follow her to the cashier and she hands the shop assistant the clothing. My eyes wander along the advertisement leaflets on a table as she struggles to find some change to pay for her things.

Dog walking services, house cleaners, job advertisements... fitness camp.

This has caught my attention. Maybe this could be the answer. Spend my summer at a camp to get fit and I could have the dream body. I could make friends and we can workout together. This is fantastic!

I lift the leaflet and stick it in my bag before Amy sees it.

"Wanna get something to eat?"

I think long and hard before I answer. If I want my dream body, then I'm going to reduce what I eat, "Uh.. no, I'm not that hungry".

She stops and stares at me in disbelief. Ouch! Does she really think I can never turn down food... well now that I think about it, I'm surprised myself.

We spend the rest of the day walking about, chatting, laughing while I control the irresistible urge to eat.