The first time she did it, she was ashamed, and didn't look Draco in the eye for the entirety of the next day.
But in a few days, she realized that Draco wasn't her want, no: He was her need.
She'd slammed headfirst into an experience she'd never even thought of being in before. She wanted him in all aspects of her life. She wanted him to hold her as she cried, she wanted to be the one he turned to when he had to cry, she wanted to be the one he desired, longed for, the one who got to listen to his rants, his laughs, even his upbraiding. She didn't just want him to quench her lust, no, she wanted everything when it came to him.
The feeling of desiring everything about one person, any and every wont of theirs and all their flaws was new, and it was disconcerting.
*
"-You know. I'm just saying, why don't you ask him if he does like you? I mean, what's the worst that could happen?" Ali wondered aloud, cringing when Madam Pince hurried over to the both of them, smacking her round the head with a book and hissing, "This is a library, and if you can't be quiet, leave!"
"Right, so as I was saying-" She began again in a low whisper.
"No, Ali. No. Look, he's shown zero interest in me. If he did like me, he'd be open about it. He's a Malfoy, after all. I'd expect him to act all high and mighty in these matters, too, since he is sought-after, to be honest. Did you see Parkinson practically drooling all over him during breakfast? I almost threw up. And the heart eyes Astoria Greengrass was making at him, I mean, god, were we this embarrassing when we were twelve?" Mish snorted.
"Maybe. I'm not sure. You can't keep distracting me!"
"Distracting you? We have a three feet long essay to finish and submit, woman, and I'm distracting you by stopping you talking about impossible scenarios?"
"Now that's just being pessimistic, calling them impossible." Ali said, though she had a smile on her face as she picked up a piece of parchment, dipped her quill in ink and began writing an essay on the twelve uses of Dragon Blood.
"No, that's just being pragmatic."
*
If she hadn't had anything to lose by asking Draco if he liked her in fourth year, she certainly had a great many things to lose now. For one, if he didn't reciprocate her feelings for him, outright asking him would amount to essentially confessing, and cursing herself to a life of awkward interactions courtesy of unrequited emotions was something Mish wasn't going to do, since thanks to her father, his father and Narcissa, separation was out of the question. Not that she wanted it, either. She'd fallen embarrassingly hard for him. Staying a few feet away from him with unspoken sentiments was better than not being around him at all or being rejected and having her dignity trampled on.
But if he did, by some miracle, then she could, just maybe, have her happily ever after.
The risk was too high, though. She'd prefer to play safe, thank you very much.
The night approached quickly, and with it, this ball her and Draco were supposed to attend. She was feeling a bit reminiscent that day, so she decided to wear what she'd worn to the Yule Ball. Muggles were truly unlucky folks, she thought, as she used magic to expand the dress to her size. The same heavy fabric, dark green with silver embroidery, weighing her down but making her feel beautiful at the same time.
The same necklace, thin, silver chain and an expertly carved emerald hanging from it.
But there was no Ali behind her to help her put it on.
YOU ARE READING
Marriages and Malfoys
Fanfiction'Someone was still holding on to her arm, but this time, the circumstances were different. For one, the person beside her was her father, not Ali, and apart from that, he wasn't restraining her from performing a harmful jinx or hex or curse on Malfo...
