What's the Opposite of a Fairy Tale? | ONC 2024

1: The Black Cat

Keep your happily ever after— it ain't mine.

Nothing ever really works out for me. I'm the kind of guy who can fall into the only puddle on the street. The kind who rescues a lost little kitten, only to realize once it's in my hands that it was a skunk. And I'm the one who's internet dies on the last question of an online exam, locking me out of the test and earning an incomplete for my efforts. My teacher still doesn't believe me about that last one.

So yeah. Happy endings? They're not really for me.

"Evan, you're up next." Professor Ekster announced.

Great.

On Monday Professor Ekster, teacher of Introduction to Syntax, had started talking about how languages organized information into meaning. Grammar, basically. And apparently, 87% of the world had decided to do this with either an I-see-him order or an I-him-see order. We'd been given the week to come up with a language that preferred to start sentences with a verb and explain its grammar. No points for guessing how much time I'd devoted to the project.

I'd been hoping to put it off for at least another day or two. Too bad Professor Ekster had decided to start calling on us alphabetically. And since my last name was Anderson, I was second. Lucky me.

"Umm...sir?" I said, slowly standing up. "Would it be possible if I went on Monday? My paper's not here... I think I left it in the dorms."

I even had my backpack on the desk in front of me, fingers resting inside like I'd been doing some serious digging. I figured that would really help me sell it.

Professor Ekster sighed. "Why am I not surprised?" he murmured. Then he looked back at me. "Fine. You go first thing on Monday. But if it's not stellar, you get a zero. Deal?"

"...A zero?" I asked. That seemed a little harsh. Especially if I'd still have to do the stupid thing to even earn my zero.

"Would you rather do it now from memory?" he asked.

"No, sir," I grumbled. We both knew I didn't have anything prepared. It looked like I'd have a lot of studying to do this weekend.

"Very well, Monday it is. And I expect you to wow us all... On a language no one else has picked yet."

Without even waiting for me to agree, he turned and called Casey up to the front. I sat back in my seat and got out a pencil. Apparently, I was actually going to have to pay attention to everyone else today in order to make sure I had a language no one else did. Maybe I could at least get an idea for how everyone else laid out their presentations.

I spent the rest of the class taking notes the best that I could. At least I had some vague ideas for my own presentation. And when class was finally over, I packed up my things and walked out the door.

I headed across the campus, taking the long way through paths that snaked between buildings and through trees. I was supposed to meet up with Gabe and Olivia for dinner, but I still had a little over an hour to kill. And I didn't feel like going all the way back to the dorms just to turn around and leave twenty minutes later.

I found myself walking around the backs of buildings I'd never been in. I only had classes in the northeast section of the campus— where the language buildings tended to be concentrated. Still, I'd been going to school here for almost four months; it was high time I got a decent layout of the land.

I followed the sidewalk as it meandered around an old brick building just past the cafeteria. As I turned the corner, the pavement stopped looking so nice; instead, it was cracked with little tufts of grass pushing their way through. Clearly, it had seen better days. 

I heard something further down the path.

"Meow." A small, black cat with strange, pink eyes was staring at me. Its head was cocked slightly to the side, and I got the distinct impression it was sizing me up.

"Yeah?" I asked suspiciously, even though I had no idea why. It was a cat. It wasn't like it could understand me. Besides, I didn't really like cats. Ever since that skunk incident, I'd been just a little wary of the creatures.

The cat meowed again. Then, it jumped onto a green dumpster that had been shoved up against the wooden fence. I took a small step closer. I didn't really want to be anywhere near the thing. Truth be told, the way it kept staring at me with those weird eyes was kind of creeping me out. But I did want to get around it...I thought. Or, maybe I should just go back the way I came.

I glanced behind me. I was about halfway between the corner I'd turned and the one in front of me. Not too far to turn back, but far enough that I'd feel like an idiot if I did. It was just a cat. Was I really going to let some creature that didn't even come halfway up my shin dictate where I walked?

I didn't think so.

So, I continued walking down the path. I heard a meow. Then another. And another. It took me a second to realize that there were way too many meows for them to all be coming from that one cat. I looked over at him and saw he'd been joined by three more. And they were all staring at me.

I picked up the pace; I just wanted to get out of there. But as I turned to leave, the path was blocked by two more cats. What was this? Did I disturb some secret cat club?

The cats on the dumpster jumped down, landing behind me. I spun around, watching as a few more came from around the corner. Before I knew it, I was surrounded by more cats than I'd ever seen in my life. Ok, this was getting weird.

I watched as they slowly started circling me in three distinct rows. The inner and outer rings moved in a clockwise direction, while the middle one moved opposite. They started weaving in and out of the rows, forming intricate patterns as they started meowing at each other.

I know I should have gotten out of there. I could have easily jumped over them— they weren't exactly tall. It just didn't occur to me until it was too late. Somehow, watching those patterns held a strange fascination that I just couldn't seem to break away from.

Yeah, ok— I'm an idiot. So sue me.

Even as my head got progressively fuzzier, it still didn't occur to me that something was wrong. Although, maybe that fuzziness was preventing me from being able to correctly assess the situation. Well, that and the fact that I didn't believe in magic at the time.

My vision started blurring, and I felt like I was going to pass out. I had to get out of there. I staggered forward and stumbled, falling onto my hands and knees. The meowing got louder and my head got fuzzier.

As I tried to crawl away, a tingling sensation spread throughout my limbs. The ground seemed to rush up to meet me, but I was pretty sure I hadn't fallen over. Finally, a wave of darkness overtook me. The last thing I remembered was my shoulder hitting the pavement.