be there for them i like them so much because they are perfect i could just talk about them all day like oh my god i love them so much their so beautiful i wish that they liked me the way that i like them their so kind i love the fact that they care and listen to all my problems i love their waves how they fall perfectly and i love everytime i hear her name i smile because i love everything about them i get jealous when they talk about other people because i love them i love the fact that they have on dimple i love their little button nose and their smile is so contagious i love their warm hugs how they just consume me i love getting yelled at from cuddling with her cause i know i did something right when i get yelled at because my grandma doesnt like me being in relationships i love hearing her voice i love being on the phone with them because i can just listen to them rant at random shit they make me so happy i love how they are so kind to people i love taking pictures of them because why not i love falling asleep on the phone with them because i feel safe when im talking to them i know that they are scared to be in a relationship because of past ones but i want them to know that im not like their past relationships because i want them to trust me so i can make them the happiest that i possibly can we have been talking alot recently i love seeing their face their the reason why i go too school too see their face thats all i wanna do everyday is see their face cause their so beautiful i love how kind their heart is i love our late night conversations when were half asleep talking about random shit i love how i can be myself around them they just make me so happy and i want it to last forever till my last breath i promise to love them with all my heart and yes i may not be good at relationships but that's only because i've been hurt in my past i push people away when i'm scared of hurting them because i don't like hurting people because i'm a people pleaser. i try my best to be the nicest but sometimes it's not that easy i just suffered a loss in my family and it sucks when so many people come up to me and ask if i'm okay like no im not okay because i don't have them with me their the only thing that makes me happy in the shitty world i hope they know that i never want to hurt them i just want them to be happy even if they want someone else all i want is for them to be happy i want to be able to see their pretty face even if their not happy with me i'm fine with seeing them happy with someone else as long as i still get to be around them and see their smile everyday cause their the only person who can make me smile on the bad days but if they are happy with me that will make me the happiest person in the world i just want them to be happy nothing matters to me in this world but them they make me sTheir eyes are as pretty as the ocean their hair as pretty as the stars their smile lights up my world their laugh is my favorite sound the way they dress i love their baggy clothes style their smile lines are so pretty their scars show me how much they have been through and i want too happy i love them so much i just want to hug them and never let go just let the warmth engulf me i feel safe in their arms like nothing could ever hurt me i wish we could just hug forever or cuddle forever sometimes im scared to hug them cause i dont want to scare them off by just randomly hugging them i dont want them to feel uncomfortable i just care about them so much and i just wish they were here forever but nothing really lasts forever and thats a thing that sucks because i never wanna let them go sometimes yes i feel like they dont care because we dont talk sometimes but i just never want to hurt them and i want them to be happy sometimes i find it hard to express myself but i want them to know that i care am i not pretty enough is my smile ugly dot they not like me theres so many thoughts that cross my mind when i think about them sometimes when me and them are on facetime i just catch myself staring at the like im star gazing i know that they feel like their not worth it sometimes but their worth it to me their beauty is immaculate sometimes when they see me looking i look away so i don't make it awkward sometimes when they look back at me when they know im looking at them i just can't take my eyes off of their every movement i want them safe in my arms so nobody can harm them i love when blue light hits their skin they look so pretty i love their lips their just so kissable but i shouldn't get so ahead of myself i don't even know if they like me yet i just hope they feel comfortable around me sometimes i feel like i could never be good enough for them im ugly im fat im sensitive i whine too much i'm horrible at math my teeth are gapped and yellow my hair is short my nails are bitten from stress i have scars up and down my hands i have to many freckles am i to ugly for them do they even like me? Do they think i'm even a good friend is my self worth worth anything really who knows all that i know is that their my person and that i care about them with everything in me they will be my forever person even if were not as close as i want us to be but are we really just friends?
I guess i may never find out i hope they like me back like i don't wanna be just your friend i want you to like me maybe even love me but idk if thats gonna work out because when i get scared i push people away and i don't wanna push them away and accidently hurt them in the process i want them to be there forever i want them to stick around but will they really stay with me after i tell them my past all the shit that has hurt me all the pain i've faced with my family and friends i'm not so sure they would wanna stick around after i tell them my past i feel like they would just leave me to rot like i meant nothing to them and that scares me so maybe we are better off as friends i dont know ive never been one to show my past let them know how im feeling i've always been too much of a pussy to tell people if their hurting me or making me feel uncomfortable will they still care about me if i show them my scars from my mom and scars from "accidentally'' getting burned by cigarettes from my parents or if i show them my body i dont know if i show them my fears are my fears still falued do i even mean anything to them i dont know i just wish they knew how much i actually care about them but of course im scared to show them how i feel from getting hurt in the past i feel like a shitty person sometimes because i feel like they feel that i dont trust them i promise i do im just scared to tell you my past my hurt and pain and tell you all the bad things ive actually done in life i just wish that there was some way to tell them without words but there goes me gonna fuck everything up like always i feel like i always fuck things up in some type of way i feel like im a shitty person because i want them to trust me but i dont know if im letting off enough for them to trust me i just want all of the hurt and pain the go away and i dont wanna be afraid to tell them how i feel im so scared their gonna leave me i just wish they knew how much i actually care ive had nightmares about them leaving me i had on two nights ago actually waking up in cold sweats not remembering falling asleep sometimes i feel like if i just smoke away the pain everything will go away but that's just temporary its not a permanent fix to the problem sometimes i wish it was a forever kind a thing like how am i so ugly they probably don't like me i'm insecure about myself from my head to my toes but their so pretty there a fix to every hurt and pain i've faced i think about harming myself all the time but i'm scared of what people will think of me cause i don't want people to say i'm emo or that i do it for attention i do it to release pain sometimes i just want to feel something but i know that i'll be okay as long as i have them they make my day brighter in every way possible their smile their laugh the way that their so goofy i just love them with all my heart i just want them to be happy even if were not together in the end there always gonna be my favorite person they just get me they know that i struggle to express myself and i smile the most when i talk to them or when im with them i just want them to know that im always here for them and that i value their trust i want them safe and happy and healthy their one of my favorite people and i never wanna lose them they make me feel good about being me yes we have fought in the past but sometimes fighting makes a bond stronger i just want them to feel like their pain is valued because they matter to me so much and they make me so incredibly happy i never want them to leave me sometimes i think about what life would be like if i had never met them but now i know that not meeting them would have been the worst thing in the world but im so glad ive met them they make me so happy i never wanna lose them i really hope they dont leave me thats why im scared to open up to them because after i open up to people they always leave and it sucks but i know i love them and i always will. They're my favorite person because their my person and I never wanna lose them.
The end
