As Above (So Below)

Chapter Twelve: Torment

Nothing could have prepared Suguru for being lined up with the rest of the tributes, shoulder to shoulder, learning how to throw a knife.

He knew that the purpose of training was to teach them to survive. The Capital didn't get the show they wanted if everyone died from hypothermia and starvation. Those who'd never made a fire or hunted or had to scrape by were in dire need of the basics. The stations around the room had done that. Suguru knew too that the plethora of weapons wasn't just to busy themselves with. They were meant to test their limits and scare each other into submission. It was obvious that training was synonymous with learning how to give the people what they wanted, not with living.

But something about the fact that Yuta, a child in his own right, instructed everyone on how to kill was far more frightening than the walls covered in spears. He handled the blade with such ease and perfection that Suguru could not help but wonder how. How was this boy so capable beyond his years? He was similar to the Careers, Suguru supposed. Young, spry, able to kill someone a hundred different ways. Yuta had that calculated look in his eye.

He surveyed his students, tossing the knife up and down, picking out who he thought would succeed. His eyes brushed over most of the crowd and did not linger on Suguru at all. On one hand that was cause for concern. Suguru was no one to look out for. When it came time for sponsors, that would pose an issue. If they had nothing to latch on to like great speed or strength of beauty, then there was no reason to throw money at him. Hanami had people clawing for her for each reason. The Careers always had hordes of people with deep pockets begging to throw money down. Suguru was just another name on the list.

On the other hand, when it came to his actual opponents, being written off was a pleasure. He could still hang in the middle and watch the fire burn around him without making a single move. Presently, there were only two people who had given him the time of day.

First, Jogo, who for whatever reason was still seething just below Yuta's stare. Suguru could see the rise and fall of his shoulders as he breathed. Getting that worked up over nothing did not bode well for any future interaction. Jogo had painted a target on Suguru, and Suguru did not want to be around when he was ready to hit the bullseye.

The second was still Satoru. Much like every other thought he'd had since boarding the train back in Seven, Suguru's mind couldn't pin down Satoru. Nothing about his demeanor made any sense. His actions were in direct contrast to his personality. The eye contact went from soft to violent in a split second. He was enigmatic, improbable, and entirely strange. Suguru knew he hated the other boy, that much was enough for him. But Satoru's behavior was so confusing, so infuriating, that even Suguru's worse, angrier half was itching to understand why. Had Yuta not summoned them, had they been left to their own devices, there was a high likelihood of Suguru approaching Satoru this time.

The gnawing in the back of his mind was beginning to get unbearable. Never in his life had Suguru felt so strongly about something. Perhaps that was a problem in and of itself. Suguru spent year after year doing what needed to be done so that the family he loved so dearly went to bed with full stomachs. He never gave himself the space to feel, not more than the occasional bad day. Every so often he'd get mad but he'd bottle it right back up after he saw the look in his mother's eyes. There was no processing the grief of losing a childhood. Beyond his enduring hatred of the Capital and the Games – shared by just about everyone from the outliers – Suguru never cared much for anything outside of his family. For him to have such deep-seated convictions about Satoru as well was new and unwelcome. It was getting very old, very fast.

Suguru's mind snapped back to attention when he was offered a fake weapon by a silent servant. He could feel the prying, slimy eyes of the game makers behind him. They kept their mental notes on who was worthy of living as they scanned the pool. Suguru knew he wasn't on their list of rising stars.