The Fight I had to Fight

"Been five years mama, the dreams that I had, which like a blanket of stars stretched to infinity got crushed by time. The golden halo on my head is no more. You told me that I am one with the stars, but I now think I am an invisible speck of dust that wonders around. You told me my birth was celestial, that I was born for the stars. What if I told you the opposite is true? My birth is an error waiting to be rewritten. A cocktail of total misfortune mixed with fruitless hope and an undying desire to achieve that escapes my window every morning. I have changed my name ten times, it didn't work. Time led me to the butcher's chambers, that butchered my self-esteem, my ambitions, and my hope. I only show off my wounds now. I refused to be anything but hopeful, but every time I tried everything came rolling down. All hope is gone now. I wish you had told me mama; I wish those days that I sat on your lap while you sung endless lullabies, you would have uncovered your heart mama. I wish you hadn't lied to make me feel good, now my eyes are open, and mama I do not like what I see. I just came to ask you one question mama, Is the road that leads back to your womb still open? I heard that Jesus said that a man can be born again. Mama if that is true, show me the path that leads to your womb. And this time, don't utter a lie because I came prepared for war. I came covered with the dust of Sahara all over my feet. I had to run, mama I ran and never looked back. I just want to know the path, show me it mama. Look at your broken daughter, is this the way you raised her up." Serah said with eternally dripping tears which flowered around the corners of her eyes and wet the blouse that covered her chest. Her face looked swollen with furry, her feet looked like they were immersed in dust. You could hear the sound of her breathing from afar. Her face was tired, her underarms were excessively dripping, making her blouse look like it had patches of rain, but it was the dripping sweat that flowed endlessly.

"Enough is enough my daughter, do you want to crush your heart completely before my face?" Serah's mother Moraa shouted in pain while she dusted off her darling daughter's feet with a lesso that she had loosely tied around her waist. You could see that she was trying to hold back tears. She used her handkerchief to wipe away Serah's tears while she kissed her forever saying it's alright. She then tapped her daughter's back and held her hand, saying "let's go and sit near the shed, we have a lot of catching up to do." There was a three-legged stool under the shed, a big rock that stood adjacent to the stool was also well positioned under the shed. While Serah sat down, she kept looking from right to left, I guess she was looking at her home that had so much changed since she last visited. She could see, the Mango tree that she had planted now full of ripened fruits, with nests in nearly every branch. It had become a home for many birds especially hawks and parrots. Their house had cracks all over, I guess it was long since it had last been smeared with clay and dung. A heap of wood lay behind the house, with maize cobs spread all over, there was also a sack of sawdust that was filled to the brim with some scattered around. She could hear the bleating of a cow from a far, the fresh smell of manure hit her nostrils occasionally. There was a flower ring around the house, and a drum with a red jug on top of it.

Her mother who had gone to the house, came with a jug full of porridge and a cup. "My daughter, you definitely need something to drink, for the journey must have been long and tiresome." She

said, while handing Serah a cup. " Mama, have you forgotten that this is dad's cup?" Serah interjected looking quite shocked. " I'm sorry Serah, darkness overtook me and I lost myself for a while, my chain of thought is not so clear, let me bring you the other cups" Moraa quickly rushed inside the house and went straight to the cupboard, there was one section of unused cups which were always reserved for visitors, she took one ceramic glass that had decorations of glitters at the sides, and wiped it with a towel. "Tell me now, and open up your heart, my ears are open." Moraa said wearing a very concerned look, her eyebrows were furrowed, and her forehead had formed many lines. "Mama, I gave my world away, mama I had to give my daughter away and then Martin, I...." Serah overcome by grief could not finish her words. She still vividly remembered the activities of that day as if it was yesterday.