what did I do?

are you sure your listening?

Injoy!

___

In a span of seven years, Yuji and his father’s relationship has gone through a full cycle.

It’s not that he wasn’t loved by the Emperor as a child; he remembers the hugs, the kisses, the mountains and mountains of gifts he’d find in his room for no occasion in particular. It’s the fact that to his father’s passing-by, eventful but rare visits Yuji much preferred his mother’s constant presence.

Things have changed a lot after the Empress passed away. The very event that broke the royal family brought the prince and the Emperor together. Like a butterfly stammering in the darkness, Yuji was searching for his light, and he found it in the face of his father; he admired him in every way, wanted to be like him, wanted to make him proud .

It is true that his initial interest in empire’s matters came not from his love for his country but to his family. Over the years, as he turned from an obnoxious ten-year-old to a noble young man, more and more duties were put on his shoulders. Weekly activities that Yuji and his father did together – hunting, walks in the garden, long nights where they would whisper of the country they would build together – turned more and more rare, until there was none at all.

It was fair.

It was expected.

The Emperor was a ruler before he was a father, and it's not like he wasn’t present in Yuji’s life at all. His reports were looked over; corrected, if that was necessary. The fact that there were no complaints about the quality of his work meant that the Emperor was pleased with him.

And yet… sometimes, lying in his bed and staring at the ceiling, Yuji wonders at which point did he turn from the Emperor’s son to his colleague.

The other day he was passing by Eso’s chambers, and through the open door he got a glance of him and Choso laughing and smiling over a letter, probably from Lady Yuki; it made something deep within him ache, and he ran before either could notice him.

Seeing this stranger next to his father stirs up similar feelings in Yuji’s chest. More so when the Emperor asks Megumi to join them at lunch. Yuji doesn’t understand the reason for this special treatment. Yes, the Emperor has brought commoners to the Imperial palace before, but never have ever any of them been invited to eat at the same table as the royal family. It’s an honor not every noble is found to be deserving of, and the only thing Megumi did so far was anger Yuji and get him in trouble.

As a crown-prince, Yuji was taught not to doubt the Emperor’s decitiions. Doubt leads to defying and disobedience, and disobedience – to chaos. Shame of the accident in the garden is still hot in his bloodstream, and Yuji holds onto that feeling of resilience and anger and squeezes it until it’s nothing but pitiful embers.

Yuji keeps silent as they reach the open doors and Jin nudges Megumi forward into the dining room. It’s one of the casual ones that is used outside of events and celebrations, when it’s just them, the royal family. Decorated in warm colors and with sunlight flowing in freely through a giant yellow-tinted window, it seems like the walls are made of pure gold.

Megumi’s mouth falls agape, and he freezes in the entrance, Yuji almost bumping into him from behind.

“Move,” Yuji says.

“I’m sorry-” Megumi quickly whips around. “I just never saw anything like this before.”

“You’ve never seen a dining room?”

He is careful to keep out the displease out of his tone, but still stumbles into a disapproving look from the Emperor. If there is someone that his rude demeanor surprises today the most, it’s Yuji himself. Usually, he is better at keeping himself put; perhaps it’s the tiredness finally taking a toll on him.